Banigas had fixed things—once her brother was in Heaven where he belonged—Josemight not have time to talk to her anymore. God might not even let him! Well, Marla thought, that was a risk she’d have to take. Yes, the most important thing right now was to get Jose out of Hell. It’s what her brother wanted.
But you promised your brother you’d never tell,
said a voice in Marla’s head.
Are you sure it really was Jose speaking to you in your dreams? Are you sure it’s okay to tell his secret even to Father Banigas?
Yes,
the girl replied.
Of course it was Jose! Only the two of us knew his secret.
The voice in Marla’s head was silent; and when another girl came out of the confessional, Sister Esperanza signaled to Marla that it was her turn.
Marla slipped out of the pew and walked quickly down the side aisle to the confessional, shut herself inside, and knelt on the padded knee rest. She made the sign of the cross and realized her heart was beating much faster than normal. She usually liked being inside the confessional—liked the dark, and how safe and clean and polished it smelled. And even though this confessional smelled just like the ones in her old church, today Marla Rodriguez didn’t feel safe in there at all.
Father Banigas slid open the shutter to his compartment, the dim outline of his head visible beyond lattice screen.
“Perdóname, Padre, porque he pecado,”
Marla said.
“You speak English?” asked the priest.
“Sí, Padre.”
“You must be new. At this church, it is important that we learn to be good Americans. The children make their confessions in English.”
Marla felt her face go hot, her stomach tighten. “I’m sorry. Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been three months since my last confession.”
“That’s all right, dear. What do you want to confess?”
“Well,” she began, “I don’t have much bad that I did since my last confession. Only that I sometimes wish it was my brother Diego who died instead of Jose.”
“Jose?”
“Yes, Father. My oldest brother. He is who I wanted to confess for today. He told me to do it for him in some dreams I had because he didn’t get a chance to do it himself before the
pandilleros
killed him. That’s why he’s stuck in Hell right now, but if I can confess for him, God will forgive Jose and let him into Heaven. Jose told me so.”
“I see,” said the priest.
“Jose told me in my dreams that if he knew he was going to die he would have confessed to Father Gomez back in our old church. But we don’t go to that church anymore because Papa moved us away from our old neighborhood because of the
pandilleros.
They thought at first that it was them who killed Jose and that other man, but now the police say they don’t know. But everybody says that only
la Mara Salva-trucha
would do something like that, and Papa wanted us to go live with his sister. So, last time I spoke to Jose in my dream, I asked him who killed him, and he said he didn’t know, but that he also thought it was the
pandilleros
. And so I asked him if I could confess to you instead of Father Gomez, and he said yes. So now it’s up to you to get Jose out of Hell.”
“Why do you think Jose is in Hell?”
“Because of his secret.”
“His secret?”
“Yes,” the girl said tentatively. “No one but me and Jose ever knew. Jose said if Papa ever found out, he would kill him, or at least throw him out of the house. And Mama and Papa and Diego always used to say that people like Jose were going to Hell. But I don’t know why that’s true, because Jose was the nicest person in the whole world to me. He would bring me home CDs from Best Buy, and he prom-ised me he was going to take me to the movies in his new car when he got it.”
“What did he do that was so bad that your parents would think he was going to Hell? Was he involved with the
pandilleros
?”
“Oh no!”
“Then what?”
Marla swallowed hard, took a deep breath, and said, “May I