are going to have a doozy. So,
you,” and he pointed at Rahendo, “run right by my door, which will be
doubly latched, and go right to Landemere’s. I bet it will be invitingly
open. Dump your naked self in his bed.”
He laughed, glorifying in his own cleverness. Rahendo twitched
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55
nervously and looked at Arranulf.
“Would you mind terribly?”
“No, of course not,” Arranulf said soothingly. “If you feel more
safe with me, be my guest.”
“Oh, thank you, thank you, my sisters are going to like you even
more.”
“Even more?” Arranulf asked.
“Here, read for yourself,” Rahendo said, giving him the last
parchment.
Arranulf read the last paragraph of Alanda’s letter and smiled.
“Your sister seems nice,” he said.
“Oh, she is,” Rahendo replied. “She thinks I’m still seven though.”
He sighed.
“What does she say,” Obyann asked.
Arranulf gave him a devastating look.
“Can I read it to sir slandering latch thief, Rahendo?” he asked.
“Sure, Nulfie. Eh, technically it’s only slander if the statement is
verifiably untrue.”
“What did he call you?” Obyann laughed out loud, before Arranulf
could respond to Rahendo’s legalese. “Did my ears deceive me, or did
he just call you Nulfie?”
“I think it’s cute,” Arranulf said defensively.
“Nulfie? Really? Nulfie?” Obyann bellowed. “Oh, I can’t wait till I
can write properly and tell father that soon we will be neighbors to
Duke Nulfie.”
He shook with laughter. Rahendo looked doubtfully at Arranulf.
56
Andrew Ashling
“Maybe you shouldn’t read that to him after all,” he said, and tried
to get hold of the parchment.
“Oh no,” Arranulf said, keeping it out of his reach, “you said I
could read it to him and so I will.”
“Oh boy, oh boy.” Obyann laughed uncontrollably, “I can see it
before me: there comes Duke Nulfie on his horse Strulfie and his
sons Dulfie, Rulfie and Wulfie with their dog Snulfie. Oh, by the Gods,
my tummy is actually hurting.”
Rahendo looked shiftily around.
“Hm, guys, I just remembered that I forgot my thingamajig at the
castle when I came off duty. I’m going to get it now.”
He took his mantle from one of the pegs near the front door of
the barrack.
“You can get it later or tomorrow,” Arranulf said, mock concerned
but with a malicious grin. “You really mustn’t go now while, as they
say in Ramaldah, it is raining, eh...”
“Hags and crones,” Obyann volunteered.
Rahendo became very nervous.
“No, no, must go look for my thingamajig. Can’t be without my
thingamajig, you know.”
He bolted out of the door into the rain. Obyann shook his head.
“Is it me, or is he becoming more unbalanced by the day? I swear,
the little guy is allergic to fun. Every time we’re having a bit of a
laugh, he hauls off. The Gods may know what’s gotten into him now.
Anyway, what does that sister of him write?”
“Oh yes,” Arranulf smiled. “You’re going to love this. Ahem. Let
me see. Ah, yes.” He read out loud. “We were so happy that your
friends let you bunk with them in the barrack of the head pages so
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57
that you would be safe from those big bullies. Chulonda says not to
worry though, because she will beat them up for you when we come
visit you. Before I forget, remember that a young nobleman washes
his special boy parts every day and always wears clean underwear.
Also, don’t forget to thank Nulfie from all of us for taking such good
care of you. He seems a nice—”
Obyann again broke out in a loud belly laugh.
“He even told his sisters. I don’t believe this. Soon it will be all
over Ximerion. Bards will sing about the awesome deeds of Duke
Nulfie. Oh boy, this is too much. I’m going to piss myself.”
Arranulf looked coolly at him.
“May I continue?”
“But, of course, my dear, dear Nulfie, pray continue.” Obyann
guffawed. “Since you think it’s cute, you