The Ipcress File by Len Deighton Read Free Book Online Page A

cab had brought me to the Whitehall Place door and I had to walk round the block to the Horseguards Avenue entrance. A Champ vehicle was parked there, a red-necked driver was saying 'Clout it one' to an oily corporal in dungarees. The same old army, I thought. The long lavatory-like passages were dark and dirty, and small white cards with precise military writing labelled each green-painted door: GS 3, Major this, Colonel that, Gentlemen, and odd anonymous tea rooms from which bubbly old ladies in spectacles appeared when not practising alchemy within. Room 134 was just like any other; the standard four green filing cabinets, two green metal cupboards, two desks fixed together face to face by the window, a half full one pound bag of Tate and Lyle sugar on the window-sill.

Ross, the man I had come to see, looked up from the writing that had held his undivided attention since three seconds after I had entered the room. Ross said, 'Well now,' and coughed nervously. Ross and I had come to an arrangement of some years' standing - we had decided to hate each other. Being English, this vitriolic relationship manifested itself in oriental politeness.

'Take a seat. Well now, smoke?' I had told him 'No thanks' for two years at least twice a week. The cheap inlay cigarette box (from Singapore's change alley market) with the butterflies of wood grain, was wafted across my face.

Ross was a regular officer; that is to say he didn't drink gin after 7.30 p.m. or hit ladies without first removing his hat. He had a long thin nose, a moustache like flock wallpaper, sparse, carefully combed hair, and complexion of a Hovis loaf.

The black phone rang. 'Yes? Oh, it's you, darling,' Ross pronouncing each word with exactly the same amount of toneless indifference. To be frank, I was going to.'

For nearly three years I had worked in Military Intelligence. If you listened to certain people you'd learn that Ross was Military Intelligence. He was a quiet Intellect happy to work within the strict departmental limitations imposed upon him. Ross didn't mind; hitting platform five at Waterloo with rosebud in the buttonhole and umbrella at the high port was Rossis beginning to a day of rubber stamp and carbon paper action. At last I was to be freed. Out of the Army, out of Military Intelligence, away from Ross: working as a civilian with civilians in one of the smallest and most important of the Intelligence Units - W.O.O.C.(P).

'Well, I'll phone you if I have to stay Thursday night.'

I heard the voice at the other end say, 'Are you all right for socks?'

Three typed sheets of carbon copies so bad I couldn't read them (let alone read them upside down) were kept steady and to hand by the office tea money. Ross finished his call and began to talk to me, and I twitched facial muscles to look like a man paying attention.

He located his black briar pipe after heaping the contents of his rough tweed jacket upon his desk top. He found his tobacco in one of the cupboards. 'Well now,' he said. He struck the match I gave him upon his leather elbow patch.

'So you'll be with the provisional people.' He said it with quiet distaste; the Army didn't like anything provisional, let alone people, and they certainly didn't like the w.o.o.c.(p), and I suppose they didn't much like me. Ross obviously thought my posting a very fine tentative solution until I could be got out of his life altogether. I won't tell you all Ross said because most of it was pretty dreary and some of it is still secret and buried somewhere in one of those precisely but innocuously labelled files of his. A lot of the time he was having ignition trouble with his pipe and that meant he was going to start the story all through again.

Most of the people at the War House, especially those on the intelligence fringes as I was, had heard of w.o.o.c.(p) and a man called Dalby. His responsibility was direct to the Cabinet. Envied, criticized and opposed by other intelligence units Dalby was