The Last and the First by Ivy Compton-Burnett Read Free Book Online Page B

so stupid,” said Jocasta. “Why are your reports so poor? Perhaps Miss Heriot will alter them. Though I suppose it would mean altering
you.
”
    â€œI am not one of the things she wants to alter.”
    â€œEducation ought to have some result. Or why does everyone have it? What do you think about it, Hollander? Do you feel it did anything for you?”
    â€œIt may have, ma’am, in proportion to what it was.”
    â€œYou have managed well. You can feel you have had success.”
    â€œWell, ma’am, if you would apply the term.”
    â€œYou have light work and earn a good living,” said Jocasta, suggesting that she would.
    â€œIt is honest employment, ma’am. And a living as an adjunct can hardly be dispensed with.”
    â€œWell, it is not,” said Jocasta, as if it was far from being so. “You can have very little to complain of.”
    â€œWell, ma’am, it might be a case of nothing or everything.”
    There was a pause.
    â€œYou mean you would choose to do different work?” said Jocasta.
    â€œWell, if there was choice, ma’am, it would hardly fall on the manual. I am not ashamed of a taste for leisure.”
    â€œSo I have seen,” said Jocasta, offering no support to pride in it. “So surely this work is right for you. It is less arduous than most.”
    â€œAnd accorded less esteem, ma’am. I admit I don’t concede it myself.”
    â€œTo what kind of work do you concede it?”
    â€œTo that which is done at a desk, ma’am, and nearly approaches leisure. I had no chance of the line myself, and so remain what you see.”
    Jocasta made no comment on what she saw.

Chapter V
    â€œI find myself in a state of trepidation, Mamma. I regret my rashness in imposing my presence on this company. It seems to offer me but a dubious welcome.”
    â€œThey will be glad to see you. They like to have some men. And I don’t want to be alone in this atmosphere. It is more forbidding than I thought.”
    â€œThan your memory of it,” said a soft, flat voice. “Yes, a memory remains itself. We find it has travelled with us. We are in the power of the past. How do you do, Mrs. Grimshaw? Tell me of yourself.”
    â€œGrimstone. No wonder you forget. We have not met for so long. I felt such a stranger here, that I took a moment to recover. It means I should come more often.”
    Miss Murdoch stood with her eyes on Jocasta’s, as if to hold them. She was a small, spare, elderly woman with a deep, grey gaze produced from a plain, lined face, and a suggestion about her that nothing mattered much.
    â€œAh yes, our paths lie apart. It is when they cross that we see how far apart they lie. And mine is dedicated and yours is free. And that does not draw them closer.”
    â€œWe should be grateful for the dedication. Nothing else has the same results.”
    â€œResults? Are we to think of them? Or to keep our minds from them as points of danger? What do you feel about it? Tell me your thoughts.”
    â€œIt is best to have good ones in anything we undertake. Or why do we undertake it?”
    â€œAnd what would good ones be? What do we mean bythem? What do you mean? By good ones you mean the most accepted, those that are recognised? That is what you mean?”
    â€œI hope there are some in Amy’s case. I would not criticise the kind.”
    â€œAmy? Amy Grimstone would it be? Yes, you would share the name. It quivers like a thread through the years and adds to the bond.”
    â€œYou will let me talk of Amy herself. She has been with you for some time. I hope she gains what she should.”
    â€œGains?” said Miss Murdoch, drawing in her brows. “Gets something for herself to add to her, to be her own? Now, if there is gain, there is giving. We come to what you mean. You mean, do we give her anything? What do we give?”
    â€œWell, perhaps I do. It can be put in that