The Look In His Eyes (Jasmine & Zack, #1) by Iris Deorre Read Free Book Online Page A

no fear of who might bump into her or which way she took to the car. Zack had triggered something she’d never felt before and for the first time her life felt a little bit easier.
    The drive home was just as breezy and when she opened the door and shut it behind her she locked and unlocked it a few times less than normal. She flicked the light off and on but also a few times less and her heart felt warm. Jasmine looked around her small apartment and took everything in. She’d hidden herself away in there for so long and now it looked like a strange place but in a good way. Jasmine headed for the fridge and looked inside. There was a good amount of ice-cream, cake and half eaten chocolate bars but her hand reached for the chicken ticka ready meal. It was a relief to do that, not that she hadn’t eaten real food just that real food seldom passed her lips. Breakfast was usually a breakfast bar, lunch usually a pass or some fruit and in the evening dependant on how the day went Jasmine would binge on anything she could get her hands on. But no matter what she did or didn’t eat, it never changed an iota in her weight.
    She pushed the ready meal into the microwave and waited until it pinged. She washed a fork and knife a few times and poured herself a glass of water. Jasmine sat down to a meal of one and began to feast on the food without thought or worry. It felt good; perhaps Zack was the medicine she needed! Perhaps the way he accepted her as she was, was what had brought this change of feeling about.
    Slowly and cautiously she put the food to her mouth and savoured it. It was a slow and long process but after a while Jasmine had finally managed to finish the meal. She pushed back the chair, gathered the plate, fork and knife and headed for the sink. She washed the plate and the utensils. It took shorter than normal but she still repeated the process of making sure everything was squeaky clean.
    After everything had been done, Jasmine went upstairs. There wasn’t the urge to purge although there was still the slight feeling of guilt for finishing the whole plate of food. Like every night Jasmine stepped onto the scale and weighed herself. The needle had moved a little in the opposite direction of what she wanted. She stepped off and stepped on again feeling extremely upset. There was a feeling of helplessness and anger and soon guilt crept in too. How could this have happened? Why couldn’t she shed the weight, why was this always a battle?  She moved off the scale and stood before the bathroom mirror. Jasmine took in the contours of her body from top to bottom. Her eyes remained around the curves of her hips and she swallowed back bitterly. To any observer Jasmine was a beautifully shaped woman but to Jasmine all she saw was the girl Stacey saw, the girl who had been called the fat pig. It had tarred her; it had made her see what wasn’t really there even in her adult life.
    To some it would’ve been easy to not believe it but her mind, her personality didn’t allow her to just let it go. It didn’t work that way, the mapping of her mind was different to others around her. Where others could cope, dust themselves off and get back out there, Jasmine’s mind held onto it until it poisoned her whole body, until it ate her from the inside out, until she wanted nothing but to carve away her own skin.
    She pulled open the mirror and pulled out a box of laxatives. The spotless glass that was besides the other medication that lay in the cabinet was just what she needed. She filled the glass with water and popped a few of the pills into her mouth. She emptied the glass, gave it a wash, placed it back into the cabinet and just watched herself a moment. Thoughts swirled around her head, thoughts she had no control of and the more she thought the more she wanted to rid herself of everything she’d eaten.
    Jasmine picked up the toothbrush and with the bristles away from her she used the other end to poke down her throat. The