become outrageous as my newly hired divorce attorney fought for me. My attorney said he’d dealt with many control freaks in his days, but he’d never seen anyone like Joe. His behavior was epic, apparently.
The first thing my attorney did for me was secure some funds for my living expenses. Legally, Joe was required to give me access to the accounts we ’d shared when I left him. He had no right to take the money from our joint account and reopen it under his name only. Just because he had access to the money and could transfer it, didn’t make it right in our case. Pretty stupid move on his part considering he was a lawyer too.
I really didn’t care about the money too much , though. Sure, I needed some for the baby and myself, but I just didn’t have any fight left in me. Maybe it was the struggles I’d had over the last few years being married to a harsh man. Trying to be the perfect wife. Hoping that he would notice me for who I was and not always trying to get me to be something I wasn’t. Live up to some imaginary standard he had in his mind. Joe had basically worn me out, beaten up my confidence without raising a fist.
Ironically, Bra dley knew all of this without my having to give him graphic details. It was unspoken between us. I’d been treated horribly and he wanted to right any wrongs he could, so I let him help with the divorce. Maybe he shouldn’t have stepped in, but he insisted and I was truly thankful for his help. I couldn’t do it on my own as exhaustion ruled me most days. Maybe it was the pregnancy and moving back home under the circumstances. I’m not even sure. I needed support from someone who cared about me, wanted what was best for me, and perhaps even still loved me.
Bradley and I hadn’t brought that word up yet, but we loved being together. He said he loved my hair, my lips, and the sound of my voice. The list of what he loved about me and what I loved about him was long, pages long. We hadn’t admitted to being “in love” with one another again. For me there was likely never a stop to the love I’d felt back fourteen years ago. It was always lying beneath the surface sometimes dormant, other times coming alive in my heart and mind as sweet memories came back to me.
But today I was the lucky one. Not only was he in my heart and mind, he was also seated beside me on our plane to Atlanta. I felt his fingers weave through mine and I opened my eyes to find him smiling reassuringly at me. He knew I was nervous today, petrified. I knew he was anxious too, but he wouldn’t show it. He would be strong for me and I would be forever grateful to him.
“We should be landing in a few minutes,” he said. His thumb lightly rubbing circles on the top of my hand. His touch soothed me, gave me strength.
“I figured we were close.” I tried to smile back but I just couldn’t find one in me without having to force it.
“Hey, it’s going to be okay. I promise.” His stare became more fixed, serious, as if he wanted to scare the worry away.
“You’re right. We’re prepared, but nothing could be worse than having this divorce drag on for years and years.”
“I don’t think Joe wants this divorce to drag on. He just wants you to cave. Give into his demands. He didn’t figure on your having an army to back you up.”
“True. I think he thought I’d be a pushover just like I’d been in our marriage.” My eyes searched his face before I continued. “You’ve saved me in so many ways, Bradley.”
“Likewise, beautiful.” He brought my hand to his lips and gently kissed my knuckles. “I’m here for you and the baby. In all ways, if you want me to be. Remember that today when we’re sitting across the table from Joe. I’m the one who cares for you. The one who lo—”
He stopped mid-word. A word that began with an “L” left unspoken on his tongue. I knew that word and wanted to hear him say it to o. But I wouldn’t ask or beg.
“Dammit, Kelly. I wanted to tell