The Love Sucks Club by Beth Burnett Read Free Book Online Page A

respond. “Oh? In what way?”
    Olivia sits up, happy for an audience. “Well, of course, first I
had the tire blow out. Then it turns out there was a ginormous screw in my
tire. They had to patch it and put it back on.”
    “Wow,” Sam mouths at me from behind her beer.
    Smirking, I say, “Sounds traumatic. My day was rough, too. Instead
of working, which is how I pay my bills and continue to do things such as...
oh, I don’t know... eat, I had to go change someone’s tire out because she
didn’t know how to do it herself.”
    Glaring, Olivia tosses her head. “This isn’t a game of who had the
hardest day,” she sniffs.
    Sam snorts. “No, we all know who would win every time, Olivia.”
    “What’s that supposed to mean?”
    Susannah interrupts. “Come on, everyone. Let’s just agree that
we’re here now, the weather is beautiful, and Dana is cooking an amazing
dinner.”
    “Yes, a free meal at someone else’s house is bound to cheer you
up, Olivia,” Sam grins.
    “You’re one to talk,” she replies.
    Grunting, Sam takes another sip of her beer and hooks her feet
under the stool.
    I can just hear the shrill screeching of a couple of peacocks off
on the woods side of the house. Sam lifts her head. “Are they nocturnal or
diurnal?”
    “As far as I can tell they’re all- urnal .
I swear to God they wake me up at two AM having screaming fights with their
reflections in my front windows.”
    Susannah laughs. “I still think they’re beautiful.”
    “I’m more than half tempted to find out how they taste on the
grill.”
    Olivia purses her lips at me in distaste. I don’t know what she’s
so upset about. She’s more annoying than the peacocks and I haven’t thrown her
on the grill.
    After throwing the kebobs on the grill, I send Susannah into the
house to get the side dishes, including the bags of potato chips that Sam
bought at the quickie mart. Olivia wrinkles her nose as we set out the sides.
“I guess we don’t have to ask who brought the chips.”
    “At least I brought something,” Sam retorts.
    “I didn’t even know we were coming here until a few minutes before
Susannah picked me up.”
    I pick up a handful of chips and throw a couple in my mouth. “The
single butch dyke always brings the chips.”
    “You’re single and butch,” Olivia says. “You seem to know your way
around a kitchen.”
    “How about you, Olivia?” Sam sits up again. “Do you know
how to cook?”
    “Oh God,” she rolls her eyes back. “I was trying to make a quiche
for my ex-boyfriend. I took it out of the oven and place it on the stove top.
In the meantime, I turned on the front burner to steam some vegetables.
Apparently I turned on the wrong burner and next thing I knew, the burner under
the glass bakeware was bright red and glowing. I
panicked and grabbed my pot holders and lifted the quiche off the burner. When
I turned away from the stove, the glass exploded and hot glass and quiche went
everywhere. I was burned. There were scorch marks on the wall. Oh, and there
was a huge burn in the kitchen carpet.”
    “Well, who has carpet in their kitchen?” Sam says.
    “It was a terrifying moment, Sam.”
    “Olivia, you think every moment is terrifying or horrifying or
death-defying or something fy-ing .”
    “Just because I react to life,” she spits out, her face red.
    Sam waves a hand dismissively. “You OVER-react to life.”
    Laughing, I join the conversation. “Oh yeah. I remember that time I walked into Susannah’s apartment and you were sitting in
front of the television, sobbing your head off over the ending of Pretty
Woman .”
    “Jesus, Olivia,” Sam states. “She’s a fucking hooker.”
    “Or that time your date didn’t show and you didn’t leave your
apartment for three days.” I’m on a roll now.
    Sam chuckles. “That time your car got scratched in the parking lot
of K-mart and you came into the bar bawling your head off. I thought someone
had been killed.”
    “Oh yeah,” I