The Makeover by Vacirca Vaughn Read Free Book Online Page B

You’re talking about things you cannot control. I would have dealt
with it.  But this issue is all you.  You are lazy, sloppy, and
weak.  And I hate it.  Sometimes I hate you for making me look
bad for being with you!”
    Phoenix
collapsed on the bed.  “You know what?  You’re right.  I did
stop working on myself.  But I didn’t do it because I stopped
caring.  I stopped because I didn’t have the money or the time!  I
work full-time with the Mental Health Mobile Crisis unit, then work another
twenty at the homeless shelter to cover your expenses!  You haven’t
found one job but I’ve been working two! I am working on my dissertation for my
doctorate.  I am taking care of my mom and grandmother because my brother
doesn’t lift a finger.  I help out with your mother, grandmother,
and aunts.  I even help you take care of your son when he’s here—”
    “Don’t
bring CJ into this.  Don’t throw that in my face!”
    “You keep
saying that, but you don’t get it.  For your information, I hated how I
looked too.  But I am tired… exhausted, in fact.” Phoenix paused to take a
breath.  “You know what?  You said you understood everything I had on
my plate, but you don’t.   Someone always needs something from
me!  Everyone is always calling on me!”
    “I never asked you to do all that stuff and—”
    “But you
were sure excited about my doing it.  I did it all because I love you, not
because I didn’t think I could get love any other way!  How dare you say I
wanted to buy your love when you already promised that I had it?  How
could you take my generosity and spit on it like that?”
    “I
didn’t say—” 
     “Yes
you did!  You say you didn’t ask me to do all that, but you sure took me
up on it, didn’t you?” 
    Cedric
had a moment.  His face crumbled and he put his hand on her shoulder and
squeezed. 
    “Don’t
touch me!” Phoenix seethed, as she snatched her shoulder away.  “It makes
me feel good to help those I love, but it leaves me no time to do the things I
would like to do for myself.”
    Cedric
sighed.  “I know you are busy, but why didn’t you—”
    “Why
didn’t I?  No, the question is why did I?  Why did I love you? I know
I wasn’t the sexiest woman out there, but I know I took good care of you and
everyone else.  I built you up when you kept slipping back down.  But
you’ve made yourself very clear.  My being a good, hard-working woman, a
giving woman, wasn’t good enough because…because I am fat?   I take
responsibility for allowing myself to become a beached whale, but you did not
have to make your point in this way.  I get it!  I’m fat, unstylish,
and unsexy.  It’s all my fault, alright? I get why…” Phoenix’s voice
trailed off as she began sobbing again.
    “What
are you saying, Fe?”
    “I want
you out!  I tried to keep it all together for you.  I wanted
you to be proud of me, to love me…to marry me, to realize that I would make a
good wife to you.” Phoenix’s eyes burned as she blinked back the new set of
tears in vain.  “I wasn’t trying to earn or buy your love.”
    Cedric
sighed then stepped closer.  “Yeah, right.  You say it ain’t true,
but how else could someone like you get it?”
    “How
could you say—”
     “Forget
it.  You should admit that I did try, though.  I don’t like your
looks but I did still wanted to love you and make you my wife.  If nothing
else, you are good for me.  I need you.”
    Phoenix
looked up.
    “You
know what?  I’m wrong.  I can help you, Fe.  But will you give
me another chance to be the man you need?  Will you forgive me?”
    Phoenix
looked away.  “Are you kidding?”
    Cedric
let out his breath. 
    “I want
you to go.  Take as much as you can and go.”
    “Alright,
fine.  I’m gone,” Cedric sneered.  “But your ugly behind will never
get another good-looking dude to even sneeze in your direction, Chick. 
Beggars can’t be choosy