The Master & the Muses by Amanda McIntyre Read Free Book Online Page B

a quiet man—caring and attentive. A confident man, in my view, having no need for constant reassurance. Still, I could not understand his silence. Had my silly heart chosen to see only what it wanted, rather than what was real? Dear heavens, had my father been right all along?
    William finished dressing and walked out to the balcony. I followed, pausing for a moment at the open double doors. He leaned against the railing looking out over the city, far away in his thoughts.
    The stench of the Thames settled over the city at this late hour.
    â€œHe cannot know,” William said suddenly, his back still turned to me.
    Certain that I had not heard him correctly, I moved to his side, curling my arm through the crook of his elbow. He picked up my hand and pressed it to his lips.
    â€œWho do you mean?” I asked. “My papa? My family does not need to know.” I studied his stern profile.
    â€œNo, Helen, not your father. You are old enough to make your own choices.” His eyes raked over me briefly before he looked away.
    â€œNo, Thomas. It would make him furious if he knew we’d been together. If it had been anyone else but me, it would not matter. I do not know how best I can explain it, Helen. It’s…how it is between us.”
    I stared at him, not believing what I had heard. Had he refused my immediate insistence to marry him, or even to make a truecommitment only to me, that I would have understood. “Are you saying we must pretend that what happened between us did not? Why, William? Doesn’t he want you to be happy?” My words tumbled from my mouth before I could think.
    He kissed my hand again, this time facing me. His expression was firm, determined.
    â€œThis is not about my happiness, Helen. It is about his life, his work, his way of doing things,” William stated, showing no emotion in those eyes that I’d just seen overflowing with passion. I saw instead the plea of a man begging me to understand, asking me to forget possibly the most wonderful thing that had ever happened to me. How could I ignore my feelings when my virtue was at stake?
    â€œWe cannot take this any further. I should have had more control.” He shook his head as if scolding himself.
    â€œThen I won’t be his model, William,” I said, grabbing his hand. “That is all there is to it.”
    â€œThat would not be fair to you nor to Thomas.”
    My mouth gaped open, unable to find a response to his absurd comment. I squeezed shut my eyes, concentrating on putting together the pieces of this jumbled mess. “You cannot deny what has happened. I—I don’t understand.” I reached for his face and he backed away. He turned, shoving his hand through his hair.
    â€œI am nothing like him, Helen. You will see once you’ve met him, once you get to know him. His presence alone commands those around him. He dominates everyone in his world. Not in an abusive way, please do not misunderstand.” He braced his hands against the balcony railing as he stared out over the street. “He is a kind man and a good man.”
    â€œAs you are, William.” My arms ached to hold him again. I wanted him to tell me he was as happy as I was.
    â€œYou say that now.” He offered a short laugh and tossed me a side look.
    â€œWhat do you mean? Do you find me that shallow? So easily won by any man’s charm?”
    His eyes drifted shut and he offered a weary sigh. “It isn’t you, Helen.” He smiled. “It’s him. I have never known a man so suited to his own skin, so confident in his opinion, so sure of his skill and his future. He is nearly perfect in all he does.”
    â€œYou love him, of course.” I touched his arm. Beneath his shirtsleeve, I felt the muscle that I had grasped moments before grow tense, unyielding.
    â€œI would rather die than disappoint him.” He stared straight ahead, his focus and his response