The Novice by Thich Nhat Hanh Read Free Book Online Page B

preparing vegetables. During his father-teacher’s illness, the little aspirant hung around the thatched hut doing small jobs like boiling water, getting fresh ginger from the temple, and going to find Thay Thanh Tam to do something for his father-teacher. Thien Tai was old enough now to be sleeping every night in the temple, in novice Man Tam’s room.
    Kinh Tam had a high fever for many nights and was now often coughing up a great deal of blood. Late one evening, after the fever had gone down, Kinh Tam knew death was near. The novice sat up. Outside, the full moon was shining brightly. Kinh Tam drew her last bit of strength together to write letters to the abbot and to her parents.
    Kinh Tam felt remarkably peaceful; and in thinking of her parents, her brother Chau, and her elder Dharma brothers, the novice suddenly felt an inner boost of energy that allowed her to write three letters in a row. The first letter was to her parents and her brother, the second to the abbot her teacher, and the third to Mau. The novice’s hand did not tremble one bit while writing with the ink brush.
    In her letter to the abbot, the novice first asked for forgiveness for her deception in disguising herself as a man. Her only defense was that the wish to practice as a monastic was too great for her to overcome. The novice shared about everything in her heart, including her dream of seeing the establishment of a temple where women could practice the monastic life. She also asked permission to have her elder Dharma brother Chi Tam travel all the way to Cuu Chan district to hand-deliver a letter she had written to her parents, and to allow aspirant Thien Tai also to go along and be presented to his grandparents. Kinh Tam carefully noted her parents’ full names and address, including village, district, and region. Last, the novice offered the abbot nine prostrations to express her faith and infinite gratitude to the teacher for whom she had utmost respect and love. The novice averred that the abbot had opened the spiritual path for her, and that all she had attained in the practice was entirely due to the abbot’s insights, loving-kindness, and compassion. In closing, the novice urgently entreated the abbot to find ways to realize her deepest last wish, which was to establish a temple for nuns.
    In the letter to her parents, after she apologized for her actions lacking in filial piety and explained the reasons that had brought her to live a monastic life, Kinh Tam shared with her parents the tremendous happiness she had known throughout her time living as a monastic. She also recounted, in a light and charming manner, the incident involving her and a young woman in the village. The novice thanked Chau for taking care of their parents in her stead during the last eight years, and gratefully acknowledged that she had been able to succeed on the path of practice due in large part to him. Kinh Tam asked her parents to inform her husband, Thien Si, and invite him to come along with them when they traveled to Giao Chi district for her funeral and cremation ser vices. She also spoke about the practice of inclusiveness, and the peace and happiness gained from wholehearted spiritual practice. In closing, the novice expressed her hope that her parents would regard aspirant Thien Tai as their grandson.
    In her letter to Mau, after telling about her life, the novice said that she did not hold any grudge toward Mau at all; she knew Mau had been driven by despair, and this was why the novice greatly hoped that Mau would diligently practice to transform all of her afflictions. Kinh Tam said she always regarded Mau as a friend and she would be very gratified if Mau were to also aspire one day to live the monastic life.
    After she finished writing the letter to Mau, Kinh Tam felt completely drained. The novice released the ink brush, blew out the kerosene lamp, and, straightening her posture, began to nourish her body through the meditation