The Perils of Pauline by Collette Yvonne Read Free Book Online Page A

giggling. “What?”
    “May I come in?”
    “Why? What do you want?”
    “I want to talk to you.”
    Silence. Then, a click and a sigh.
    I turn the handle and peek in. Serenity and Shae are still in bed, a laptop propped between them. I can’t see what’s on the screen as Serenity shoved the lid down as I came in. I can’t see the floor either as it is strewn wall to wall with discarded articles of clothing. A pile of dirty dishes tilts on the night stand and there, propped in a bowl with a few stray popcorn kernels, is my cordless phone.
    “Did you borrow money from my purse last night?”
    “We ordered pizza. You were over at Bibienne’s while we were babysitting, remember?”
    “You could’ve asked me first.”
    “Sorry.”
    “I need you two to look after George. He’s supposed to stay outside and I caught him on my bed. With muddy paws.”
    “Yeah. Okay.”
    It smells like smoke in here. Funny smoke. My eyes land on a massive bong perched on the dresser. I can feel my insides beginning to do a slow burn. “I thought I said no smoking in your room.”
    “We weren’t. We were just cleaning out Shae’s piece is all.”
    I cross my arms. “I mean it. Jack and Olympia…”
    Serenity rolls her eyes. “You don’t have to keep bugging us about it.”
    “Okay then.”
    I don’t know what to do beyond stand here with my arms folded beaming death lasers from my eyes at them. Two pairs of eyes stareback at me, death laser shields fully activated. Serenity tosses her hands up in the air. “What?”
    If I kick them out of the house for smoking, then I will have zero chance of getting Serenity back on track. “Don’t be breaking the house rules. That’s all.”
    I pick up my phone and, as I close the door behind me and walk away, I hear the door handle click, more giggling and a high-pitched, “Do that again.” I can only assume they’re having a sex-positive morning. I can’t remember the last time I had a high-pitched giggle in the morning.
    I go downstairs in time to catch Jack at the side door, inviting George back into the house.
    I run to prevent George from reinstalling himself inside and, as I do, Olympia pipes up: “Mom, Serenity has a snake tattoo on her back. Can I have one, too?”
    I lock the door and connect the chain too. “No, you can’t have a tattoo.” I refrain from adding that she’ll have to wait until she’s 16 or until she snags herself a fake ID like Serenity did way back when.
    “Can I have a nipple ring then?”
    “Serenity has a nipple ring?”
    Before Olympia can answer me, the phone rings.
    It’s Mom, back from her road trip with her book club girls. I thought they were going to the Berkshire Theatre Festival like they do every year but I was wrong: Serenity ran into her at the Electric Daisy Carnival. Apparently, she was wearing a purple pantsuit and a headband that said YOLO.
    “Serenity tells me she bumped into you at the Electric Daisy Carnival?”
    “True story. It was great. You should go sometime.”
    Me, petulantly: “I would’ve except I only had to look for work and watch Olympia and Jack.”
    Mom is too busy planning her summer vacation to listen. Tuscany would be nice. Or Paris. I am standing at the kitchen sink looking out the window. From this vantage point, I can see George working on the landscaping. Today he is digging a series of ponds.
    Mom interrupts my reverie. “You really should go on one of these boat cruises. Brian wants to see Greece in July but I say we save that for winter and do a river cruise in the south of France first.”
    Then, in a chirpy voice, she says she’s planning a quick trip next week with Brian to the Midwest where Phil Mickelson is supposed to be touring: “I’ll be walking all the courses with Phil!”
     
    All day today the crusty old seadog, Donald, lived up to his end of the bargain and entertained Olympia and her friends in the backyard with so-called pirate pizza, cake and games. Olympia’s sixth birthday is