The Presence by T. Davis Bunn Read Free Book Online Page B

hell.
    â€œâ€˜I’m not?’ the father asks, wipin’ his eyes.
    â€œâ€˜No, you’re not,’ Peter answers. ‘You’re goin’ back to earth and convert.’
    â€œâ€˜Convert to what?’
    â€œâ€˜You’re gonna have this major inspiration from your heart attack, see, and in your very first sermon you’re gonna tell the world you’ve decided to become a Baptist.’
    â€œâ€˜A Baptist!’
    â€œâ€˜That’s right. And not in just any old church either. You’re gonna join Preacher Jones’s church. Hey, maybe we should make you assistant pastor. How’d you like that?’
    â€œAbout this time Preacher Jones comes bouncin’ up all panicky-like. ‘In my church?’
    â€œPeter turns around, tuggin’ hard at his beard to keep his mouth from turning up at the edges. ‘Well, now, it ain’t your church anymore, is it?’
    â€œAnybody with a grain of sense could see what was goin’ through Preacher Jones’s head. Here he is, all dead and everything, about as far out of the picture as anybody can get, and what’s old Peter gonna do but send his arch-rival back to convert and join his church. And there ain’t nothin’ he can do about it. This is a very worrisome development. Yep. Preacher Jones is about to become the first angel in heaven with an ulcer.
    â€œFather Coughlin’s still kinda shell-shocked too. ‘You want me to go back and be assistant pastor in a Baptist church?’
    â€œâ€˜Yeah, see, they’re a little shorthanded right now,’ Peter says, ‘since Preacher Jones here died so sudden-like. It won’t be for too long, though. Just a couple of weeks. They’ll be gettin’ this bright young fellow in, and then you can come back up and take your rightful place in Paradise.’
    â€œFather Coughlin thinks all this over. ‘And what if I don’t go?’
    â€œPeter gets this solemn expression on his face and proceeds to shake his head slow. ‘Oh, I don’t think I’d refuse if I were you. Seems to me you could spend a right long time regrettin’ a decision like that.’
    â€œPreacher Jones decides he’d better act while there’s time, so he clears his throat real loud and says, ‘Ah, Mister Saint Peter, sir, seems to me like the father’s real sorry for what he did.’
    â€œâ€˜Oh I am, I am!’ Father Coughlin says, givin’ the preacher a look of pure heavenly gratitude.
    â€œâ€˜I’m ready to let bygones be bygones and invite the good father on into heaven,’ the reverend says. ‘There ain’t no reason to send him back to earth.’
    â€œâ€˜There’s not, huh?’
    â€œPreacher Jones tries his best not to squirm under Peter’s gaze and says, ‘Nossir. Why, I’d even be willing to go back myself and help out till the new man arrives.’
    â€œPeter pretends to give it some real serious consideration, then says, ‘No, the father’s gotta go back for a while.’
    â€œâ€˜But I want to go,’ says Preacher Jones, real frantic-like.
    â€œâ€˜Yeah,’ the father says, kinda frantic himself. ‘He wants to.’
    â€œâ€˜Fine,’ says Saint Peter. ‘That’s just fine. So here’s what’s gonna happen. You’re both goin’ back. Preacher Jones, you’re not gonna fully recover. Sorry ‘bout that. Your heart attack’s gonna leave you in the hospital. Father Coughlin, you’re gonna feel so sorry for the preacher you’ll go over and help out in his church till his replacement arrives. ‘Course, you’ll have to convert so’s they’ll let you in the front door.’
    â€œâ€˜And you, Preacher Jones,’ Peter goes on, ‘you’re gonna be so overcome with gratitude that you decide to convert to Catholicism right there on your