The Prince of West End Avenue by Alan Isler Read Free Book Online Page B

what he knows. He knows crap."
    I could scarcely argue with him.
    "What can we do? The company goes along with him."
    "I'll tell you what we can do," said the Red Dwarf. "We can secure the costumes, the makeup, the paints, the scenery. Then we can march onto the stage and announce the revolution of the proletariat. The people will flock to us. We will strike off their chains."
    "Not so fast, Poliakov," said Hamburger. "You think Lipschitz and Dawidowicz will take this lying down? They will go to the Kommandant. No, better we go to the Kom-mandant first, the three of us. Scheisskopf, after all, is the ultimate authority. We put before him our grievances, the high-handed manner in which the production was taken over, the arbitrary reassignment of roles, the alterations in the text, and so forth. Our plea is a simple one: Justice. Korner here should be our director, that's obvious, and according to tradition already established, the director also plays the principal role, in this case Hamlet. What Scheisskopf wants is peace and quiet, cooperation and harmony. How can he refuse us? With Scheisskopf on our side, the assumption of power is automatic."
    "Menshevik," muttered the Red Dwarf.
    I began to warm to the idea. "Before we go to the Kommandant," I said, "we should sound out the other members of

    the cast. After all, what if we are the sole dissidents? With numbers there is strength. Our purpose is to strike a blow for freedom, yes, certainly, but also for art. First, however, we must know where we stand with the others. If, as I suspect, they are dissatisfied with the current state of affairs, and if we can impress this dissatisfaction upon the Kommandant, we will carry the day. What do you think?"
    "Trotskyite," muttered the Red Dwarf.
    We argued the matter back and forth, sometimes with acrimony, but at last decided upon a compromise. We would all sound out the other players. Meanwhile, the Red Dwarf would attend to logistics—that is, the most efficient means of securing the costumes, the makeup, the paints, the scenery. Hamburger would draw up a list of grievances for presentation to the Kommandant. And I? Why, I would reassign roles, not forgetful of poor Sinsheimer's conception of the play but prepared to superimpose my own vision on it.
    This was the point the Revolutionary Council had reached when Blum entered Goldstein's Dairy Restaurant. Seeing us together, he naturally came over and sat down.
    "What do you want?" said the Red Dwarf irritably.
    "The Lee J. Cobb," said Blum.
    Goldstein, who had overheard him, made signals to Joe.
    "Things aren't working out," said Blum.
    We three revolutionaries looked at one another significantly.
    But of course Blum, being Blum, was talking about sexual conquest. Lately he had been laying siege for the heart (and other parts) of Hermione Perlmutter, but without success. He had invested, he wanted us to know, ten dollars in flowers and more than five in chocolates. "No dice": La Perlmutter remained coy. How much time could he afford to waste? "Now there, gentlemen," he said sadly, "is a sweet nooky."

    "Because of the ordure, Blum, that in you passes for a brain," said Hamburger, "no one can blame you for what is engendered there. But in common decency you can keep such thoughts to yourself."
    "Here, here," I said.
    Blum sighed. "Anyone want to play dominoes?"
    "Tell me, Blum," said the Red Dwarf. "You like being the Ghost?"
    "Korner was better at it. To tell you the truth, I've always seen myself as Horatio: steadfast, loyal, true."
    "And if I told you you could be Horatio?"
    "Well, you know how it is. Lipschitz is in charge. What he says goes. It's not up to you."
    "Gentlemen," said the Red Dwarf to Hamburger and me, "I know you have many things to do. Busy is busy. Don't hang around on our account. Blum here and me, we're going to play dominoes."
    Hamburger and I rose to our feet. Goldstein, ever attentive, signaled to Joe.
    "Blum is treating," said the Red Dwarf.
    A SECOND