The Promise of Provence (Love in Provence Book 1) by Patricia Sands Read Free Book Online Page B

in the aftermath of their first real winter storm. The fields sparkled as if sprinkled with silver sequins.
    It had been almost two months since the anniversary disaster.
    Squinting in the brightness, Katherine replied quickly, “Mom is so happy to have me with her. I think she feels safer now, more secure, as she becomes frailer, and I’m happy to be able to help her and have this time with her.”
    “Yup, that I can see, but that’s not what I meant and you know it.”
    Katherine bit her lower lip as she considered her reply. “I’m not feeling good yet. I’m still dealing with a lot of unpleasant emotions, but the counseling is helping. Thanks for pushing me to go.”
    “What’s the worst part right now?”
    Katherine took her time responding, picking up a handful of snow and scattering it as she walked.
    “Two things. Uncertainty and identity—at least, that’s what we’ve narrowed it down to in counseling. I have no sense of the future at the moment, where I’m going to live, what I’m going to do when I’m not at work. I can’t live with Mom forever. I feel like I’m stuck in limbo right now.”
    “It’s early days,” said Andrea. “Everything happened so fast.”
    “Right, for sure,” Katherine agreed. “But that doesn’t stop the fear of the unknown, and that kind of ties into the second part. I feel like I’ve lost my identity somewhat. I’m not Mrs. Katherine Price anymore. I mean, I am, but I’m not. Like a lot of women, I kind of got tied up in James’s identity. Y’know, the successful, smart lawyer . . .”
    “But you’re successful and smart too, Kat. You know that.”
    “That was partly tied up with the security I got from being married to James too. No financial worries, respect and recognition from his colleagues when we socialized—which was fairly often. I know it sounds kind of petty, and it’s hard to explain. When I say it out loud, I think it just sounds stupid.”
    “No, no, no. Not stupid at all. Quite normal, I would imagine. It’s a big shift.”
    “Yeah, a big shift, and I’m still just kind of in shock . . . I think.”
    “It came at you out of nowhere.”
    “Well, I’ve done a lot of thinking about it, and looking back I can see clues that we were drifting apart. I just didn’t pay any attention to them.”
    “Aha! It’s the old couldn’t-see-the-forest-for-the-trees story . . .”
    “Exactly,” agreed Katherine. “We had our routines . . . and I was okay with them. Obviously he wasn’t but never said anything.”
    Andrea laughed cynically. “Communication, good old communication . . . it’s the key to everything. So simple and yet so difficult for so many.”
    “For sure, I guess we might have dealt with whatever the issues were if we had talked about them. But I’m also feeling like I was traded in for a new model—not much I can do about that . . .”
    Her voice trailed off and she gave Andrea an exasperated look before continuing. “So here I am—single, fifty-five years old, more wrinkles appearing every day—not exactly sought-after dating material. Which really doesn’t matter, because I’m not the least bit interested in dating. The thought of it repulses me! But still, the prospect of aging alone isn’t particularly joyful.”
    Andrea listened quietly to this point. “And what does your counselor say about that?”
    Katherine gave a snort. “Can you believe she actually insisted I go to my doctor and get an AIDS test?”
    Andrea looked astonished. “And her explanation was . . . ?”
    “It makes sense, actually. She explained that James put me at risk because he slept with someone else at the same time he was sleeping with me, and we have no idea of her sexual history.”
    “Smart thinking,” Andrea agreed.
    “I still felt very weird speaking to my doctor about it,” Katherine said, biting her lip and scrunching her face to express her displeasure.
    “I hear you. But it’s all valid stuff that you have