The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from the Impostor Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It by Valerie Young Read Free Book Online Page B

women (something we’ll explore in more detail in a future chapter). At best, you feel self-conscious; at worst, intimidated. Add to that any assumptions that you got where you are solely as a result of affirmative action (which in the minds of some translates into the belief that you are automatically less capable) or that you cruised on the basis of good looks. Either scenario can undermine your confidence and up the pressure to prove yourself.
    If you don’t think numbers impact performance, think again. As researchers at Massachusetts Institute for Technology discovered, once the percentage of female students in a department rose above about 15, women’s academic performance improved. Girls who attend single-sex schools have higher career aspirations than both boys and girls at coed schools. 15 Studies repeatedly show that if you attended a women’s college, you are likely to have higher self-esteem and more intellectual self-confidence than your counterparts at coed institutions. The same is true for African Americans who attend historically black colleges.
    So what can you do? First, know that it’s not you. There really are well-documented and important differences between how men and women in the workplace tend to communicate, assert authority, negotiate, use humor, and navigate organization politics. Understanding these differences can help you recognize when a perceived slight may be more a matter of style than of sexism. In these situations a sense of humor can go a long way.
    If you are a person of color working in a predominantly white environment, you may have had to figure out how to navigate within thedominant culture. At the same time, embracing your own culture can actually serve as a powerful buffer against self-doubt, with one study finding that high-achieving women of color who drew collective self-esteem from being a member of their racial or ethnic group felt less like impostors. 16
    Other things you can do are actively build relationships with people of any ilk who support your academic or professional goals. Join or form a professional network within your workplace or community. If you do not live or work in a racially or ethnically diverse setting, make the effort to attend conferences and other networking events outside your area.
    Last, don’t confuse the discomfort caused by feeling outnumbered with the idea that you’re not smart enough or are in some way not worthy of being there. You are where you are because you deserve to be. Being one of a token few can be stressful. Which makes it all the more important that when impostor feelings do strike, you give yourself extra points for performing as well as you do. You may be expected to represent your entire social group, but you need not accept that responsibility. You have as much right to fall as flat on your face as the next person; assert it.
    The Bottom Line
    There are seven perfectly good reasons you might feel like a fraud: family expectations and messages; being a student; working in an organizational culture that feeds self-doubt; working alone; working in a creative field; being or just feeling like a stranger in a strange land; and having to represent your entire social group. Once you recognize that many people in similar scenarios experience these same self-doubts, you can put your own impostor feelings in less personal and more situational terms.
    What You Can Do
        • Step back and examine how family messages and expectations may contribute to your impostor feelings.
        • Note which situation(s) discussed here you identify with. For each one complete this sentence:
How I feel is perfectly normal given the fact that____________________________________
.
        • Make a note of any aha moments you had when reading about your situation.
        • If you still believe you are the only one who feels like a fraud, seek out opportunities—in person or online—to connect with others in your situation and raise