her naughty intentions as she imagined. “I’d be honored.”
She waited for him to extend the same courtesy, but instead he began to outline his plans for the rest of the week. Caroline berated herself for drifting off again. After all, he was ensuring that they’d meet. That confirmed his interest. She reminded herself again that any woman would be proud to call this man her lover.
Whatever Silas thought of her plans.
Silas who had avoided her since that ride in Hyde Park. Helena said he was busy with his botanical work, but Caroline had seen him out in society every night. He hadn’t lacked for dance partners—even if none had been his dear friend, Lady Beaumont.
On the rare occasions they’d spoken, he greeted her with a chill politeness that hurt, however much she pretended it didn’t. She supposed he was sulking because she refused to heed his misgivings about her plans. She’d tried to tease him out of his mood. After all, they’d always made each another laugh. But any attempts to re-establish their closeness foundered against that wall of politeness, cold and impassable as the Atlantic.
As if the thought conjured him up, she glimpsed him across the crowded room. He was dancing with Fenella who looked lovely in a rose pink gown. Considering how reluctantly Fen had abandoned her widow’s weeds, she’d taken to the season with an élan that astonished Caroline.
Now there she was, sparkling and pretty and happy, in Silas’s arms. He smiled down at her with the warmth he’d once reserved for Caroline.
They looked so right together. Somehow complete unto one another.
Like people in love.
A great ax of understanding slammed down from nowhere and smashed everything Caroline thought she knew into chaos. The couples whirling around her became a dizzying wall of color. On a muffled cry, she stumbled as West swept her into a turn.
“Lady Beaumont—Caroline—you’re not well.” West’s hand firmed around her waist. “Come. Sit down.”
“I’m…I’m fine.” Her voice came from far away as she clung to West’s powerful arm.
“You’re definitely not fine,” he said, and somewhere in the distant reaches of her mind, she registered his kindness. “Can you walk or should I carry you?”
“No, no, I can walk,” she forced out. Talking was painful. Her heart shrank to the size of a walnut and the breath jammed in her closed throat.
Hardly aware of moving, she let him lead her across to where Helena stood surrounded by a circle of admirers. Vaguely Caroline knew that heads turned to track her unsteady progress.
“Helena, Lady Beaumont is feeling faint,” West said, his arm still around her waist.
She was grateful for his support. Her legs threatened to fold beneath her. She told herself to stand up straight, but every muscle felt made of string.
“Caro, are you ill?” Helena asked, taking her arm. “Here. Sit down. It’s cursed hot in here. No wonder you’re lightheaded.”
“I’ll fetch some water,” West said.
“Thank you,” Helena said, easing Caroline down into a chair. She waved the curious onlookers away. “Stand clear and give her some space.”
As her blood thundered deafeningly in her ears, Caroline sucked in a deep breath of humid air, then another. It didn’t help. The musicians scratching away at the far end of the room set her teeth on edge.
Horrified at her behavior, she summoned the stern voice in her head that always sounded like her father at his frostiest. That austere voice told her she made a spectacle of herself. Over nothing. Less than nothing.
Silas. And Fenella.
West returned, looking gratifyingly perturbed, but she was in no state to enjoy his attention. With a shaky hand, she accepted the glass he carried. How desperately she wished she was at home, away from all these prying eyes.
She choked down a sip of water, then forced numb lips to move. Her apology emerged slurred and muffled. “I’m sorry for all this fuss. I’m fine.
David Stuckler Sanjay Basu
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