The Sex Was Great But... by Tyne O’Connell Read Free Book Online

head, relieved beyond belief that he hadn’t realized who I was.
    â€œYou sure? Weren’t you that chick who smashed that cop with the flagpole, then?”
    â€œNo,” I said, now indignant that I was being mistaken for a perpetrator of violence against officers of the law. Somehow shallow didn’t seem so bad an insult.
    â€œYeah, you was. It fell down when we all climbed up on it, and you and that geezer with the tattoo of a skull on his face started swinging it at those cops.” He nudged Leo. “You should have been there, man. It was wicked.”
    â€œReally? You were in the Seattle riots?” Leo asked, looking at me for confirmation.
    His colleague nudged me conspiratorially. “It was brill, wasn’t it?”
    â€œI wouldn’t know, would I?” I said through gritted teeth. “I’ve never been to Seattle.”
    Still he wasn’t having it. “Yeah, you woz. Check it out, Leo. She was wearing these green dungarees, right, only with no shirt or nothing, and you could see her tits, see, and—”
    â€œI’ve just got a familiar face. I promise you I have never been to Seattle.” I turned back to Leo. “Please let me give you something for your help,” I pleaded.
    His colleague wasn’t going to let it drop, though. “I’ve got it. You were at that club last night with that nutter Dingo.”
    I was getting annoyed now. “Honestly, you don’t know me.”
    â€œYeah, that was it. The Aussie guy with the steel plate in his head? And the crucifix in his nose? You spewed up on the bar and got thrown out. Now you remember her, doncha, Leo?” He thumped Leo in the chest and, taking the cardigan away from his nose, Leo studied my blushing face intently for a moment. “Nah, it’s not her, Kev. The girl last night had a harelip.”
    â€œSure it’s her. Fuck, you were wasted darlin’.”
    â€œLook, I wasn’t there. Even Leo agrees that you’re mixing me up. Look at my mouth. Do I have a harelip?”
    But Kev was too busy laughing at the memory. Pointing at me, he virtually fell off his curbside perch. “And then when the heel of your shoe got stuck in the pavement when they was throwing you out everyone caught a load of your arse. What a sight.” He was holding his sides he was laughing so hard.
    â€œHonestly, our paths have never crossed,” I replied stiffly. I really wasn’t liking this guy.
    â€œAnyway, thanks to you, him here with his bleeding nose has got the potential to earn some serious sympathy bucks—haven’t you, mate?” He punched Leo hard in the ribs, which caused Leo to knock his nose and grunt with pain.
    â€œDon’t punch him like that,” I snapped. “Your colleague could have a possible broken nose.”
    â€œMy what?” He was standing in front of me now, bending over me, positioning his face inches from mine and grinning from ear to ear. “My fucking what?”
    I began to feel afraid.
    â€œMy colleague? Did she just call you my colleague? ” Throwing his head back, he howled with the laughter of the totally demented, and I desperately wanted out.
    The traffic started whizzing past, but none of it went anywhere near Kev.
    Leo looked at me with doleful eyes. “Shut up Kev,” he told his friend, and then he turned to me. “You said you didn’t think it was broken.”
    He looked so pathetic in his black felt cap with the ears, holding my once too-adorable-for-words cardigan up to his bloodied face, that I wanted to cry. “No, well, I’m not a doctor, am I? I was just trying to be sensitive,” I explained feebly.
    The odious Kev was still laughing and still holding his sides as he mimicked my accent again. “Your colleague. ”
    I so hated him, but I ignored him and focused on Leo. “I’m not a doctor, and you really should see one. I’m happy to pay, honestly. I