The Sweetheart Deal by Polly Dugan Read Free Book Online Page B

to pick out a shirt and tie,” she said. “I’ll take this with me.” She slipped the jacket off my shoulders. She patted my back, draped the jacket over her arm, and walked away.
    I went into the dressing room, sat on the bench with my face in my hands, and took deep breaths until I was ready to meet Audrey and hand over the pants. The fatigue from the flight and the weight of buying Leo’s suit combined and refused to waver. I couldn’t look in the mirror and acknowledge the image of my living self, so I turned my back while I changed. I don’t know how many men had tried on that suit, but I was going to be the last person who did before Leo wore it till the end of time.

Audrey
    T he day after I bought Leo’s suit, I went to Ann Taylor alone. Erin offered to come with me. “You need help,” she said.
    “No, I can do it by myself,” I said. “But if you could, would you take the boys shopping and I’ll meet you downtown? Christopher is the only one with a suit.”
    “Done,” she said.
    I didn’t think about it until I was shopping alone. How Garrett had tried on that beautiful suit while I lied to that nice woman who helped us. He looked sick by the time I paid, and I wondered if I had asked too much of him. How would I have felt if someone had asked me to be the model for a dead woman who would be the next and last person to wear what I’d tried on? Garrett hadn’t said anything, of course he hadn’t, and by the next day it felt too late for me to bring it up. After we’d left Washington Square, I’d dropped him off at the house and had taken the suit, shirt and tie, socks, and boxers I’d bought to the funeral home. This is what he’s wearing
,
I told Matt MacKay.
    I knew what I wanted at Ann Taylor and declined all the offers for help. A dark gray suit—I refused to wear black, and I refused to wear a skirt or a dress—and one was easy to find. I was in and out of Pioneer Place in fifteen minutes. It had taken me longer to park.
    Erin had picked up Brian and Andrew when I’d left the house. I texted her as I walked the few blocks to Nordstrom. We’re here, in the Boys Department
,
she wrote back.
    By the time I saw them, Erin had already found each of the boys a dress shirt and suit; navy for Brian and gray for Andrew. No black for them either, and I was so relieved and grateful for Erin’s having made exactly those choices, even though I hadn’t said anything the way I’d meant to but forgot. The boys were both quiet and stoic, Andrew looking angrier than Brian, and Brian looking like he couldn’t leave the place soon enough.
    “They look terrific,” said Erin. “Both of them.”
    “Thank you.” I hugged her and whispered into her hair. “Thank you so much.”
    She clutched me back. “Of course. We’re going to go grab a snack—do you want anything?”
    I shook my head. “I’m going to buy them each a tie and I’ll meet you outside.”
    There was a customer in front of me so I had to wait. After she finished, I piled everything on the counter and the cashier folded it all and filled the shopping bag. She was very kind, but more reserved than I was used to the Nordstrom staff being, always so predictably outgoing, with their How’s your day going? and high level of genuine professional interest in you for however long you spent with them. I was waiting for her gentle inquiry: Special occasion? But she only said how handsome the boys looked in the suits and what nice sons I had. I was prepared for her to be more solicitous, and I was glad that for whatever reason she wasn’t.
    “Thank you for your help,” I said when we were finished.
    She came around to my side of the counter and handed me the bag. “You’re so very welcome,” she said. “Please, take good care.”
    Erin and the boys were waiting on the corner across the street, outside Starbucks, and the four of us walked in the direction both of us had parked.
    “Did that tall woman working help you guys at all?”