The Telling by Eden Winters Read Free Book Online Page A

over
    by his grandparents. Most importantly, he began to relearn how to live as a civilian. After all the discipline and stress of his previous life, having
    every minute of every day planned and structured, the loss of stability left him unnerved.
    It also left him with entirely too much time to think. Many nights were spent in sleepless frustration, lying in his bed, unable to turn off the
    never-ending stream of self-doubts and what-ifs. He now had the opportunity to do whatever he wanted, go to college and pursue any of the courses of study
    he’d been debating, or go to the local technical school and study for blue-collar work. Decent money and jobs could be had in many fields, and
    he’d always excelled at working on things around his grandfather’s farm.
    He could have stayed here, married Ruth Ann, but that dream hadn’t been his. The wife and kids were what his grandparents and his girlfriend had
    wanted. At one time he’d accepted having his future planned by someone else. But marrying Ruth Ann wouldn’t have been fair to her or to
    him.
    They’d been close at one time, or as close as he’d ever been with anyone, but it wasn’t his high school sweetheart now
    starring in his thoughts about the future. No, as unbidden as the thoughts were, they all seemed to focus on a man. And not just any man—Jay.
    When he’d first seen the Texan in the living room of his sister’s place, he’d felt something he now realized he’d
    felt before over the years, only not as strongly. Then he hadn’t wanted to admit what the subtle signals meant and he’d become quite
    skilled in denying his attraction to other men, or passing off crushes as admiration.
    Like it or not, he could no longer lie to himself about why he hadn’t been that interested in girls when all his high school buddies had been
    hormone driven lunatics. What he’d do with that information was what he still couldn’t decide. He could hide who he was and try to live
    an ordinary, straight life, deep in the closet. That’s what Jim from church had tried to do, back when Michael had been a kid. It
    hadn’t worked very well.
    Everyone knew something was different about Jim and whispered behind his back. Even when he married the rumors persisted. All the poor man had gotten for
    the subterfuge was misery and a broken marriage. Where was the man now? Did he finally accept himself and find happiness? Everyone deserved a happy ending.
    Well, most people, anyway.
    But what about Jay? Before, any leanings Michael had were simply theoretical. Now that someone made him feel, well, like doing something about it, what
    should he do? He couldn’t exactly come out and say, “You make me hard.”
    That day in the car Jay had definitely been flirting even before disclosing his sexuality. But… regardless of what he’d said, he still
    hadn’t called.
    Jay had been right in saying that being seen out together would be taken negatively as far as most of the narrow-minded community was concerned. What of
    the family? Mom had so many gay friends over the years and was so accepting and non-judgmental that coming out to her shouldn’t be a problem.
    She’d probably join a support group and slap a rainbow bumper sticker on her car. More than likely she’d just want him to be
    happy—but you never could tell how a person would react until you actually told them.
    Angie? Since she obviously accepted Jay and Terry she might be open-minded about him. Then again, it could be a different matter when it came to her
    brother. Besides, Jay was her friend. Getting together with him might cause some weirdness. But if Angie didn’t approve of something
    she’d just come out and say it. It wasn’t like her to mince words or hide her opinions.
    His grandparents? Another matter entirely. They were good folks—good, church-going folks—and the church condemned homosexuality. Though
    he didn’t like lying to them it wouldn’t be the first time he’d kept things from them.