The Testimonium by Lewis Ben Smith Read Free Book Online Page A

hard-won shrimp breakfast.
    “ Quod sugit et facit me vis iactare!! ” shouted Josh. He had taught himself to swear in Latin long ago, so that on the rare occasion when he felt the need to say something profane, he would not embarrass his father by saying something vulgar—or at least, not something his father would understand.
    Ben Parker was not going to have it though. “And what does that little gem phrase mean?” he asked his son.
    Josh sighed. “Nothing too bad,” he said. “It’s Latin for ‘That sucks and it makes me want to throw up!’”
    His dad threw back his head and laughed. “Well,” he said, “I guess losing a twenty-pound blue does merit some sort of expletive. I wonder if I said that in front of my deacons whether or not they would bother to look it up?”
    At that moment Josh’s cell phone rang. He debated whether or not to answer, but the LED indicator showed that the call was from his mentor Dr. Martens, so he looked at his dad as if to say “What else do you do?” and answered.
    “Josh!” boomed the voice of his former thesis advisor. “Hope I didn’t wake you from some dreamy vacation nap!”
    “Hello, Dr. Martens,” Josh replied. “Has Alicia managed to put you in the hospital yet?” Like most of the grad students in the Biblical Archeology Department at Tulane, he had been shocked when the graying, bearded professor of Biblical Archeology had married a Marine Biology grad student fifteen years his junior. But the attraction between them was real, and after the amazement wore off, Josh could tell the two were good for each other.
    “Funny you should mention that,” Martens chuckled. “I’m, well, kind of recovering from a ski accident at the moment.”
    “Wow!” Josh said. “I was only kidding! What did she do, talk you into some sort of extreme ski jump competition?” Alicia’s fascination with high-risk acrobatics was a subject of some campus gossip long before she and Professor Martens had married.
    “If you must know, I swerved to avoid an eight-year-old on the bunny slope and hit a tree,” growled his old mentor. “But I think I’ll tell your version from now on!” Josh laughed at this sally, but then Dr. Martens’ voice grew more serious. “Look, Josh, my disability may turn into a major professional opportunity for you if you are interested,” he said. “Are you still up on your first-century Latin and Greek?”
    Josh was all ears. “Been reading Cassius Dio in my spare time,” he said. “Now tell me what’s going on.”
    “I don’t know a lot of the details,” said Martens, “but it appears that they have made what may be a major document discovery at the Villa Jovis on Capri. Some documents, or at least one document, dating to the reign of Tiberius Caesar—maybe even written by Tiberius Caesar! They need a first-century Latin specialist with a strong background in New Testament archeology. I praised you to the high heavens when the Director of the Italian Bureau of Antiquities called me a couple of hours ago, and he has agreed to include you on the team that will excavate and study the ruins if you are up for it.”
    Josh was excited beyond words. “When do I need to leave?” he asked.
    Martens said: “The sooner the better, but I don’t know the details. I have Dr. Guioccini’s number here. Got a pen?”
    “I’m in the middle of Lake Hugo holding a rod and reel,” said Josh. “Can you text me the number?”
    “Sure,” said the professor. “But don’t waste any time before calling. He’s trying to get this team assembled and on-site ASAP. Good to talk to you again. Now get over to Italy and make me proud!”
    Josh looked at his dad after he said goodbye to Dr. Martens and hung up. His father was already reeling up his first line, and Josh reached for the other rig and began reeling it in too. “Well,” said Ben Parker, “looks like the fish are safe for now. So where are you off to this time?”
    Before Josh could answer, his