The Torn Up Marriage by Caroline Roberts Read Free Book Online Page B

mind. Be with Sophie. Really think about what next. But he had a feeling he had already made his choice.
    When he left today, he was rewriting his future.
    How could you walk back in and slip back into your old life, when you had already damaged it beyond recognition?
    It was awful to know how much he had hurt Kate. It was hard even to look at her when he’d come in, to see the pain he’d caused so evident across her features.
    It’s done now. He sighed, zipped up the overnight bag, picked up the carrier. He headed back down the stairs, left the bags in the hall, took a deep breath, then walked in to see the girls in the lounge. “Girls,” they looked up from the television, “Daddy’s got to go away for a couple of nights. So he’ll not be here for a little while…” He was talking softly, using the third person. That was odd, he realised. But, in fact, he felt like a stranger to himself right now. “I’ll be back very soon. Okay?”
    It wasn’t that unusual, him going away. He often had meetings that took him all over the north of England.
    “Okay, Daddy,” Charlotte, all grown up and serious.
    “Aww, you’re only just back,” Emily, was indignant. Then she gave him a huge hug that nearly floored him. He hugged her back, crouching low. Lottie moved in, too. His arms around them both. Tears threatened, but he held them back, didn’t want to upset them. Didn’t want anything to seem unusual. He rose to go, then spotted Kate there in the doorway. She had been listening, watching. Her own eyes glinting.
    Shit. He needed to get out of here fast. Couldn’t hold it together much longer.
    He stood up. “Bye, Kate,” his voice trembled as he picked up his bags.
    She didn’t answer. Not with words. But her green eyes held his with whole host of emotions: hurt, pain, anger, love and much more. Should he kiss her cheek? Give her a hug? What are you meant to do when you are leaving someone you have loved for a long time? When you’ve shared dreams and lives, had children together?
    He placed a hand gently on her shoulder as he passed. She flinched, then seemed to relax a little, dropped her head until her cheek rested gently on the back of his hand. Just for a split second. Then she tilted upright and drew away, her stare icy.
    He walked, out of their house, out of their marriage.
    It was all she could do to stop herself from clinging to him. An image flashed in her mind of herself there on the floor holding onto his legs like a frantic child, desperate to stop him.
    Don’t go. Don’t go!
    Instead she clung on to a last shred of dignity… The girls were right there, for God’s sake. They should never,
will
never, be witness to stuff like that.
    Michael slowly slipped his hand from her shoulder, walked to the door. One last glance at her before he pulled it to a close behind him. She thought she saw the tremble of a silent “I’m sorry” hover across his lips.
    She stood staring at the white paint of the closed door.
    What to do now? What did anyone do when the one you loved had left you?
    She turned, walked back to the kitchen and finished loading the dishwasher. Smudges of baked beans and sausages on white plates. Smudges of tears misting her eyes. And then she poured herself a really large glass of wine.
    It was later when it hit hard. She’d managed, somehow, to get through the girls’ bath and bedtimes with a semblance of normality. Watched some mindless drama on the television, had an early night, exhausted from the emotions of the past 24 hours. She’d even managed to doze. It was when she woke, in some dark hour of the night, trembling, shaking all over as if she’d caught some awful chill, sobbing uncontrollably into the pillow.
    Michael had gone.
    Michael had left her.
    Michael was, at this very moment, lying in the arms of another woman.
    Sleep was never going to happen now, not with her mind full of junk like that going on. So Kate got up quietly, shuffled past the girls’ room in her