The Tudor Vendetta by C. W. Gortner Read Free Book Online Page A

maintain the illusion. Kate knew the truth: There would be no safety for us, and not only because of my duty to Elizabeth.
    “I had no choice,” I whispered. “I left because it meant that you would be kept safe. After what happened to Peregrine, I … I couldn’t bear it if I lost you, too.”
    She raised her hand. This time, she set it upon my cheek, over the ebbing sting of her blow. “Instead, I have lost you.”
    “That is not true,” I started to protest, and then I fell silent, remembering with a wrenching pain another pair of eyes, other hands. I had done more than forsake her. I had betrayed her with a woman whose cunning had blinded me, whose presence had led me into a darkness I had never fully escaped. Even now, she haunted my dreams. Never had I desired anyone as I much as I had Sybilla Darrier and never had my own desire proved so lethal to those around me.
    Kate said, “I do not want any more promises. You must be true to the path you have chosen. I will no longer stand in your way. Good-bye, Brendan.”
    I stood as if paralyzed as she took Urian’s lead and moved to the stable entrance, the dog padding behind her, looking over his shoulder as if entreating me to follow.
    My cry burned in my throat, a vow to leave it all behind for her, to take her away this hour and find somewhere, anywhere, to build our love anew. But I remained silent, watching her vanish without a word into the cold light of day outside. When I finally moved, it was with a moan, as I buried my face in my hands.
    I had done what I must to ensure her safety but she had not lied.
    We were indeed lost to each other.
    *   *   *
    Walsingham glanced up as I walked through the door. He sat on a narrow stool, pulling on his boots. It had not taken long to locate him. I had gone to the oldest part of Whitehall, in the lower wing, and now made cursory appraisal of our accommodations—a meager room, with two board beds stuffed with straw (I could tell by how lumpy they were) occupying most of the limited space, a chipped wooden chest for clothing, side table, and ubiquitous closestool. It smelled of damp and rank tallow. There was no window. I could feel winter seeping up through the plank floor laid directly over the stone foundation.
    “Luxurious,” I remarked, tossing my saddlebag onto the nearest bed. I could not tell which one was his. Both looked untouched. Had he even slept?
    “It’s only for a short while,” he said, returning to his boot. “Cecil is renting a house nearby. I’ll need a proper place for when my books and papers arrive, and I’d rather not spend too much time in such close quarters.”
    Though I agreed, I refrained from comment and rummaged in my bag for my poniard and cup. Stepping past him to the table, upon which were a decanter, a hunk of bread, and some hard cheese, I cut a slice of the latter and poured the watered ale into my cup. My stomach rumbled. I hadn’t eaten anything since our fare at the inn, and despite the morning’s upset, I was famished.
    Walsingham cleared his throat. Looking around, I found him upright, fully attired in his habitual black. I had missed an opportunity by not joining him the previous night; having never seen him undressed, it seemed impossible that actual human flesh might lurk under that colorless armor of his, which he wore like a carapace.
    “Dressed for court?” I asked.
    He gave me a sliver of a smile. “I do not care to impress. You, on the other hand, must do everything you can to gain the queen’s attention. I suggest you wash yourself and air out your clothes. She expects you this very afternoon in her apartments. Cecil was here this morning and left a pouch of coin in the coffer, along with the address of a tailor. If you’re going to play the courtier, you will need to dress the part.”
    I deliberately sliced more bread and cheese, not revealing the jolt his words sent through me. I had not expected Elizabeth would ask to see me so soon. “I thought