The Umbrella Man and Other Stories by Roald Dahl Read Free Book Online Page A

fun?”
    “You don’t know these pawnbrokers, my dear. You’re liable to get cheated.”
    “I wouldn’t get cheated, honestly I wouldn’t. Give the ticket to me, please.”
    “Also you have to have fifty dollars,” he said, smiling. “You have to pay out fifty dollars in cash before they’ll give it to you.”
    “I’ve got that,” she said. “I think.”
    “I’d rather you didn’t handle it, if you don’t mind.”
    “But Cyril, I
found
it. It’s mine. Whatever it is, it’s mine, isn’t that right?”
    “Of course it’s yours, my dear. There’s no need to get so worked up about it.”
    “I’m not. I’m just excited, that’s all.”
    “I suppose it hasn’t occurred to you that this might be something entirely masculine—a pocket watch, for example, or a set of shirt-studs. It isn’t only women that go to pawnbrokers, you know.”
    “In that case I’ll give it to you for Christmas,” Mrs. Bixby said magnanimously. “I’ll be delighted. But if it’s a woman’s thing, I want it myself. Is that agreed?”
    “That sounds very fair. Why don’t you come with me when I collect it?”
    Mrs. Bixby was about to say yes to this, but caught herself just in time. She had no wish to be greeted like an old customer by the pawnbroker in her husband’s presence.
    “No,” she said slowly. “I don’t think I will. You see, it’ll be even more thrilling if I stay behind and wait. Oh, I do hope it isn’t going to be something that neither of us wants.”
    “You’ve got a point there,” he said. “If I don’t think it’s worth fifty dollars, I won’t even take it.”
    “But you said it would be worth five hundred.”
    “I’m quite sure it will. Don’t worry.”
    “Oh, Cyril. I can hardly wait! Isn’t it exciting?”
    “It’s amusing,” he said, slipping the ticket into his waistcoat pocket. “There’s no doubt about that.”
    Monday morning came at last, and after breakfast Mrs. Bixby followed her husband to the door and helped him on with his coat.
    “Don’t work too hard, darling,” she said.
    “No, all right.”
    “Home at six?”
    “I hope so.”
    “Are you going to have time to go to that pawnbroker?” she asked.
    “My God, I forgot all about it. I’ll take a cab and go there now. It’s on my way.”
    “You haven’t lost the ticket, have you?”
    “I hope not,” he said, feeling in his waistcoat pocket. “No, here it is.”
    “And you have enough money?”
    “Just about.”
    “Darling,” she said, standing close to him and straightening his tie, which was perfectly straight. “If it happens to be something nice, something you think I might like, will you telephone me as soon as you get to the office?”
    “If you want me to, yes.”
    “You know, I’m sort of hoping it’ll be something for you, Cyril. I’d much rather it was for you than for me.”
    “That’s very generous of you, my dear. Now I must run.”
    About an hour later, when the telephone rang, Mrs. Bixby was across the room so fast she had the receiver off the hook before the first ring had finished.
    “I got it!” he said.
    “You did! Oh, Cyril, what was it? Was it something good?”
    “Good!” he cried. “It’s fantastic! You wait till you get your eyes on this! You’ll swoon!”
    “Darling, what is it? Tell me quick!”
    “You’re a lucky girl, that’s what you are.”
    “It’s for me, then?”
    “Of course it’s for you. Though how in the world it ever got to be pawned for fifty dollars I’ll be damned if I know. Someone’s crazy.”
    “Cyril! Stop keeping me in suspense! I can’t bear it!”
    “You’ll go mad when you see it.”
    “What is it?”
    “Try to guess.”
    Mrs. Bixby paused. Be careful, she told herself. Be very careful now.
    “A necklace,” she said.
    “Wrong.”
    “A diamond ring.”
    “You’re not even warm. I’ll give you a hint. It’s something you can wear.”
    “Something I can wear? You mean like a hat?”
    “No, it’s not a hat,” he