The Voice inside My Head by S.J. Laidlaw Read Free Book Online Page A

Luke! You can’t go along with this
.
    M E:
It’s really none of your business
.
    P AT:
But she’s needy and emotional. That’s not even your type
.
    M E:
She’s naked and willing. That’s every guy’s type
.
    Tracy’s hand migrates to the waistband of my shorts. Suddenly my fly’s undone. Like magic. The girl is skillful.
    P AT:
She called me a skank
.
    M E:
Technically, she said you weren’t a skank
.
    “Lie down, Luke, I’m so lonely. I just need you to hold me.”
    P AT:
You know this isn’t right
.
    “Goddamnit,” I mutter, as I button my shorts. It doesn’t help that I agree with her. Tracy really isn’t my type, and even if she was, I could never get past what she said about Pat. But just once I’d like to do something wrong without Pat’s voice in my head telling me not to — and I don’t mean just since her disappearance. I didn’t used to actually hear her voice like I do now, but I’ve felt it, like a goody-two-shoes soundtrack always playing in the background. Even booze doesn’t drown her out. Believe me, I’ve tried.
    “Tracy,” I begin …
    We both flinch, as there’s a rap on the door.
    I get up to answer it.
    “Ignore it, baby,” coos crazy naked girl.
    I dive for the door. I don’t care who it is. Anyone is a welcome distraction right now.
    Okay, I was wrong.
    I gape at Reesie, standing on my doorstep.
    “Who you got in there?” she demands.
    “Who are you, my mother?”
    “Don’t you insult your mama to me, boy. I bet she’s thinking you’re safe asleep in your bed right now. What’s she gonna think if she knows what you’re really up to?”
    “Knowing my mom, she’d be thinking,
Rock on
.”
    “How long you been on this island?”
    She doesn’t wait for me to answer.
    “You’ve not been here twenty-four hours and already you’ve got a girl in your bed. Haven’t you ever heard of sexually transmitted diseases? You’re just like all the rest. You don’t even know that girl. You can’t know that girl. You haven’t been here long enough. You just —”
    “REESIE!”
    We both jump, and I notice for the first time that Jamie is standing behind his sister.
    “Don’t you shout at me, Jamie Greenfield. Not after what you’ve been up to. You’re no better than him. Why, you two should form your own club, Randy-ass Boys of Utila.”
    Jamie peers around his sister and catches my eye.
    “Well, go on then,” Reesie says, glaring at Jamie. “Go ahead and tell him the truth this time. That’s what we came here for.” She crosses her arms and taps her foot like she’s marking out time.
    “I’m sorry,” says Jamie, his shoulders drooping on hislanky frame, his dark eyes deep wells of pain. “I just didn’t see the point in bringing it all up. I know Trish didn’t tell you about me. Maybe she had her reasons.” He cuts a look at Reesie. “I guess we were both trying to keep it low-key till we figured out where we were headed.”
    “You mean you were lying to my face,” says Reesie.
    Jamie gives her a guilty look before turning back to me. “This sure isn’t how I hoped we’d first meet,” he sighs, “but I loved your sister, Luke, and she loved me.”
    “What?” I stare at him stupidly.
    “We were gonna get married,” he continues.
    “But we never even heard of you,” I exclaim. “You couldn’t have known her more than five or six weeks.”
    “Oh, that’s perfect,” hoots Reesie. “You’re gonna give him advice on not rushing relationships.”
    “I don’t know what happened to her,” says Jamie, ignoring his sister. “Drowning seems like the last thing that could happen, but they found her clothes on the dock, and I haven’t seen her since, and I know she wouldn’t disappear on purpose. She was making a life here.”
    “Come back to bed, baby,” calls Tracy.
    Reesie raises an eyebrow.
    “Look,” I say. “I want to finish this conversation, but I’m kind of busy right now.”
    “Oh, we can see you’re busy,” says