The Way to a Woman's Heart by Christina Jones Read Free Book Online Page A

‘Snakes get a rotten press. They aren’t cold and slimy. Roy’s warm and smooth and totally adorable.’
    Pretty much like his owner then, Ella thought, stretching out a tentative and slightly trembling hand and touching Roy’s perfectly patterned velvety skin.
    She stopped, surprised. ‘Oh… he’s nothing like I thought he’d be, and I can feel him breathing. Oh, bless him. He’s lovely.’
    Ella and Ash shared a proud-parent eye-meet moment. Ella, suddenly feeling very warm, looked away first.
    Poll, clearly not wanting to be outdone, also ran a reluctant hand briefly over Roy’s beautifully marked skin, then smiled at her own bravery. ‘Oh, yes, he’s cute. Not cold or scary at all. There. Now we’re all friends. So, would you like to pop him upstairs into his new quarters? And come and join us for some late lunch in the garden?’
    ‘That sounds wonderful,’ Ash said, hoisting Roy round his neck and looking at Ella. ‘Would you mind just taking his tail end so that it doesn’t knock against anything as we go upstairs? Snakes bruise very easily. Look, just hold out your hands and take the weight – he’s quite relaxed. Thanks, that’s great.’
    Ella, carefully carrying several feet of surprisingly heavy python, felt ridiculously proud of herself. And with Poll opening doors and George dodging between them stroking whichever bits of Roy came to hand, they made their way up to Hideaway Farm’s second floor.
    Ella couldn’t help thinking as she climbed the stairs that life had taken a pretty crazy turn. Somewhere around that overgrown signpost her old normal life had ended and this new bizarre existence had started. This morning she’d been in London, and it could have been decades ago.
    Now, merely hours later, she was in a remote Berkshire farmhouse with ditzy Poll, a very cute small boy who’d already stolen her heart, an even cuter homeless maybe-gay ex-chef, and carrying the tail end of a python.
    Ah well, she’d told Mark she’d wanted a complete life change, hadn’t she?
    They’d just reached Ash’s room when the phone rang noisily in the hall below.
    ‘Sorry.’ Poll pulled a face. ‘I’ll have to go and answer it. It might be important. It might be the plumber – or maybe even Billy or Trixie letting me know when they’re arriving.’
    ‘Billy and Trixie?’ Ella asked.
    Poll shrugged. ‘Er, yes. I’ll tell you about them later. Sorry, I’ve got to get the phone.’
    Ash hoisted Roy up gently. ‘Won’t they ring on your mobile if you don’t answer the landline?’
    ‘I don’t have a mobile.’
    Ella and Ash looked at her in amazement.
    ‘Never got the hang of having to charge them, and even when they were charged I always pressed the wrong buttons and cut people off, so I’ve stuck to the landline,’ Poll said happily as she hurried towards the stairs. ‘Come along George – yes, you can come and see Roy again later.’
    Ash shook his head as they disappeared. ‘No mobile? How on earth does she manage?’
    ‘Goodness knows,’ Ella said, out of breath. ‘I couldn’t imagine life without a mobile – although I’ll admit to leaving my laptop with my parents.’
    ‘Sadly, I refuse to be parted from either. And my MP3 would be hard to live without, too.’
    Ella laughed. ‘I reckon Poll would think MP3 was a division of the police. And I don’t think she has a computer because all her letters to me were, well, letters. Oof – can we put Roy down, please? He weighs a ton.’
    ‘Sssh.’ Ash grinned. ‘You’ll hurt his feelings. He’s very sensitive about his weight – but, OK. You let your end of him go gently – that’s great – and now if you could just make surethe lid is fully opened while I pop him in and let him get acclimatised.’
    ‘Blimey.’ Ella gazed at the massive tank running along one wall. ‘That’s one huge snake pit.’
    ‘Vivarium. State of the art. It comes in sections that all bolt together and the heat and light unit just plugs