The World According to Humphrey by Betty G. Birney Read Free Book Online Page A

Sayeh.”
    Sayeh rose and hurried to my table to push the ugly old jack-o’-lantern away. She didn’t say a word, but she winked at me and I knew what she meant.
    “Heidi, did you want to say something?” Mrs. Brisbane asked.
    “Not anymore,” she said.
    Everything went back to normal until the bell rang for recess. As my classmates all scattered and ran toward the door, Garth paused by my cage.
    “Scaredy-cat,” he muttered. Then he moved the pumpkin right up against my cage again.
    I puffed up my cheeks as big as I could get them. It was going to be a very long day.
    TIP SEVEN: When hamsters feel intimidated, they often puff up their cheeks.
     
    Guide to the Care and Feeding of Hamsters, Dr. Harvey H. Hammer

8
    Tricks and Treats
    H allow-Een. Or Hollowin’. Or Howloween. I wasn’t sure what it was, but I was pretty sure I didn’t like it.
    Especially on Monday night, after Mrs. Brisbane turned out the lights. That’s when those skeletons on the wall took on an eerie glow.
    The bats hanging from the ceiling began to whirl and twirl.
    And the smile on that ghastly orange pumpkin face looked more like a wicked smirk.
    WEIRD-WEIRD-WEIRD.
    So I was thrilled when Aldo flicked on the lights.
    “Whoa. It looks like Halloween in here,” he exclaimed as he wheeled in his cleaning cart. He strolled over to my cage as usual and bent down so we were face-to-face.
    “So, are you going to wear a costume for Halloween? It’s Wednesday, you know. Halloween is when the ghosts and goblins come out to play,” he explained.
    “Eeeek!” I squeaked.
    “No, no, it’s not scary. It’s just fun. All the kids will wear costumes. Richie’s going to be a werewolf. So what are you going to wear? A fur coat?” He laughed at his own joke, then began his cleaning routine, talking to me as he swept and dusted.
    I started thinking about this costume thing. Ms. Mac had a costume party once while I was staying with her. People dressed up like kings and pirates and ghosts, and Ms. Mac dressed up like a clown with a sparkly pink wig and a funny face.
    Nobody wore a fur coat.
    I thought about this costume thing all night and the next day.
    When Garth threw a piece of wadded-up paper in my cage, I wondered about the costumes.
    When A.J. tripped on his way up to the chalkboard and Gail didn’t giggle, I wondered about the costumes.
    Even when Mrs. Brisbane called on Sayeh and she answered her, I wondered about the costumes.
    And I came up with a Plan of my own.

    On Wednesday, Halloween arrived. But there were no costumes. I was extremely disappointed until Heidi blurted out, “Mrs. Brisbane, when are we going to have the party?”
    “Raise-Your-Hand-Heidi,” the teacher told her.
    Heidi obediently raised her hand and Mrs. Brisbane called on her. This time, when Heidi asked her question, Mrs. Brisbane said, “We will have our lessons this morning. After lunch, you may put on your costumes and we’ll start the party.”
    I felt HAPPY-HAPPY-HAPPY and got in a nice nap for the rest of the morning.
    But I was wide-awake after lunch. My classmates returned from the cafeteria, then scurried off to the cloakroom and the bathrooms and returned. But I hardly recognized them in their costumes.
    Oh, they were wonderful! A dragon, two pirates, a princess, a ninja. Two clowns, a ballerina, a bunny, a cat (thank goodness not a real one), a baseball player, a mad scientist, a skeleton, the Statue of Liberty, an angel and a devil!
    The room mothers came to help with the party. They were both dressed as witches. Still, Mrs. Brisbane was the scariest of them all.
    She didn’t wear a costume—just a button that had the words “This IS my costume” printed on it.
    She gathered everyone in a circle, pushing all the tables back. Then she announced that the class would be having some treats. But in order to get them, they each had to do a trick: tell a joke, sing a song or perform a trick for the rest of the class.
    Oh, I wish someone had told me. I had