The World's Worst Fairy Godmother by Bruce Coville Read Free Book Online

Pfenstermacher had stopped him. He looked back at the house. He looked down at where Maybelle had been sitting. He looked in the direction where everyone had run off.
    Finally he shrugged and absentmindedly took a bite of the apple.
    Instantly his eyes grew wide.
    â€œWait!” he cried, springing to his feet. “Little pudgy woman, come back! I think I love you!”
    He paused. “Love her? How can I love her? I just met her! Besides, she’s so short!”
    He shook his head. “What does time matter? What does short matter? What does pudge matter? I love her!”
    And with that, Dr. Dekter raced off after Maybelle, Edna, and Zozmagog.

Chapter Ten
Zozmagog’s Secret
    Edna Prim was running in circles around a big tree, and she had just about had it.
    She had been horribly startled when the imp spotted her in the forest and began chasing her. But no mere imp was going to torment her like this. Stopping in her tracks, she turned around and drew herself up to her full height. Raising one hand, she snapped, “That will be about enough of that!”
    It was a voice that could have stopped a bull elephant, much less a mere imp. Zozmagog stopped so fast he nearly fell over. Then he stood stock still, staring up at her in astonishment.
    â€œAll right just why are you chasing me?” asked Edna, in a tone that demanded he answer.
    â€œBecause I love you,” Zozmagog moaned. “You are the sun and the moon and the stars. You are—”
    â€œOh, angel feathers. Cut the baloney you little monster. Imps can’t fall in love.”
    â€œI have,” said Zozmagog. Then he tipped his head back and moaned helplessly. “I’m in loo-o-o-ove with a wonderful woman.”
    â€œOh, sit down,” commanded Edna. “Now!”
    Zozmagog sat. At that moment, Zitzel came on the scene. When he saw what was going on, he hid behind a tree to listen. After all, it was possible the boss was working on some master prank. If he interrupted now, it could mean noogies for a week.
    â€œAll right, describe this love,” said Edna, pronouncing the word love as if it tasted like mustard mixed with vinegar.
    Zozmagog made his thinking face. “Well, my insides are all jumbled up.” He put his hand on his chest. “And I have a burning sensation right here. My stomach is in a knot. Yet I feel all bubbly inside.”
    Edna snorted. “That’s not love, it’s heartburn. You’ve been eating too much spicy food.”
    Zozmagog threw back his head and howled mournfully.
    â€œStop that!” said Edna. “It’s disgusting!”
    â€œWell it’s not easy being an imp in love.”
    â€œNot easy? It’s impossible! Magic can’t create love out of nothing. And imps have no love. So that apple couldn’t have affected you.”
    â€œBut it did.” Zozmagog sprang to his feet. “Kiss me, or I shall die!”
    â€œWhat???”
    â€œKiss me, you gorgeous tower of femininity!”
    He rushed toward Edna. She sidestepped him, and he ran into the tree.
    He was too much in love to notice. Spinning around, he began to chase her again, crying, “Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me!”

    They made another three or four circuits of the tree. Then Edna stopped, turned around, and rapped him sharply on the nose with her wand.
    â€œOwwww!” cried Zozmagog. “Ow! Ow! Ow! What did you do that for?”
    Grabbing his nose, he turned away from Edna and bent over, sobbing and moaning as if he was in blazing agony. Actually, his nose didn’t hurt that much. But he was hoping he might get some sympathy.
    He was barking up the wrong fairy godmother. Reaching forward, Edna grabbed his tail. “Straighten up!” she ordered, giving his tail a stiff tug.
    It broke off in her hand.
    She stared at the severed tail in horror. “Good heavens!” she shrieked. “What have I done?”
    Zozmagog spun around. “Give me