pulling Quinn’s hand into mine and look at Katelyn, offering her my sincerest apologies. I want to help her, but I’m not sure if I can.
CHAPTER 8
Katelyn
When the band took their final encore, I felt like I could finally breathe. As the guys left the stage I wanted to clap like I was fan, but held back. I’m so proud of Liam, and seeing this side of him is amazing. He performs with such confidence, just like he did on the football field. I have no doubt he could’ve done either and been successful.
Liam and Jimmy pass me as if I’m nothing more than a common employee. I know that I am, but it still stings. I can’t forget that I’m at their beck and call, not the other way around. I wait for Harrison and I hate that my body shivers in anticipation that he’ll be close again. It shouldn’t feel like this, my body belongs to Mason. I belong to Mason. The lights go on and still no Harrison. I look out and see people moving out of their seats. I take a deep breath and step out onto stage, ready to face Harrison and encourage to him to get back stage. I look at his drum set, empty. He’s already gone and I missed him.
Why do I care that I missed him? I don’t. Or maybe I do and I can’t bring myself to admit that, when he’s in the room, the chaos doesn’t exist. That watching him hold Elle the other night not only hurt, but gave me hope that my girls will heal and if I can’t help them, someone else can and is willing to step up and do it. He didn’t have to hold her all night and sleep in an uncomfortable chair, but he did, and I couldn’t even thank him for it.
Opening the door to the kids’ room, I stand there. Noah is with Liam and Josie, gushing about what he just saw his dad do. Quinn is with Harrison, who is on bended knee and talking with Elle. Peyton, my very sweet and angry child, is in the corner standing defiantly. And no one knows I’m here, except Harrison.
There is a glint in his eye and I think he’s remembering when I touched him earlier. I didn’t mean to, at least I don’t think I did. It felt natural to put my hand on his back and wish him good luck.
He leans in and whispers something in Elle’s ear and whatever it is causes her to break into a dead sprint toward me. My arms are out before she jumps into them. I hug her tightly, but feel empty. I look over at Peyton and wave her over to me, but she ignores me. Doesn’t she know my arms feel empty without both my girls in them?
“Mommy, did you watch the concert?”
Her exuberance pleases me. I want them to enjoy this adventure and not beg to go home. I’m liking my job, aside from Liam’s outburst earlier, and don’t want to give it up, but if they aren’t happy, I will.
“I did. Did you watch it?”
“Oh yes and we could feel the music through the walls. My heart was pounding so fast.”
“Mine too.” I put her down and hold her hand in mine. We walk over to Peyton, who turns away from us.
“Hey, Peyton. Are you ready to go?”
She shrugs.
“Elle, why don’t you go get your things ready while I talk to Peyton.” I kiss her on her cheek and watch as she walks away. She has a spring in her step and wonder if she’s even coping with Mason’s death or if Peyton is right. Elle’s mine, whereas Peyton and Mason were attached at the hip.
I reach out and pull Peyton’s hand into mine, she tries to jerk away, but I don’t allow her to. I don’t want to be stern with her, but if I need to, I’ll do what I must to make her understand that she’s mine too, with or without Mason.
“Did you watch Uncle Liam on stage?”
“No.” Her response is sharp.
“Why not?”
“I don’t care.”
“That’s not true.” I bend down and try to look at Peyton, but she refuses to make eye contact with me. “Peyton, you can talk to me about everything you’re thinking.”
“No, I can’t because you’ll cry.”
She’s right, I will. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t cry for Mason.
“I’ll try
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