The Year I Almost Drowned by Shannon McCrimmon Read Free Book Online Page B

and then gave me an
    appreciative
    smile.

    ***

    We sat inside Jesse’s car in my grandparents’ driveway. It was late, close to
    midnight. One light shined on the front porch. Jesse’s car was turned off, but it
    still felt warm inside. He had music playing from his CD player. Nina Simone’s
    seductive deep voice sang lyrics about loving and being loved. We sat facing
    each other. I could still smell the lavender and Jesse’s musky cologne.

    “I had a good time. This was the best birthday present,” I said. My fingers weaved
    into
    his.

    “Happy birthday, Finn.” He leaned forward to kiss me. It was gentle, Jesse’s lips
    barely grazed mine. Our foreheads touched and I could hear him taking soft
    breaths. He placed his thumb on my jaw line and caressed it.

    “It’s
    all
    going
    by
    so
    fast.
    I’ll
    be
    gone
    soon,”
    I
    fretted.

    “I
    know.”
    He
    ran
    his
    fingers
    through
    my
    hair.

    “What
    are
    we
    going
    to
    do?”

    “You won’t be that far away, Finn. Quit worrying. You should be excited about
    starting college.” He leaned forward and kissed me again. “Nothing’s going to
    change.”

    “It’s
    far
    away,
    though.”

    “It’s not that far, Finn. It’s not like you’re going to school in Alaska.”

    “But,” I started. What I really wanted to ask him was how are we supposed to
    keep dating with me in another state and you working? But I didn’t. I let my heart
    and
    hormones
    take
    over.

    My breath became heavier. My heart beat faster. I took a deep breath and leaned
    in to kiss him. And I kissed him. My hands ran through his soft wavy hair, to his
    strong
    muscular
    back,
    and
    down
    to
    his
    firm
    waist.

    “Finn,”
    he
    said
    breathlessly.

    “Yes,” I said, kissing his neck, his jaw, his lips. My hands rubbed his smooth chest,
    his
    rock
    hard
    stomach,
    and
    squeezed
    his
    muscular
    thighs.

    “Your
    grandparents
    are
    right
    inside
    you
    know,”
    he
    said.

    “So.”
    I
    continued
    to
    kiss
    him.

    “If you keep doing what you’re doing, I won’t want to stop,” he said and took a
    deep uneven breath. “And this dress of yours...” he touched my shoulder and ran
    his
    fingers
    to
    the
    top
    of
    my
    chest,
    “is
    turning
    me
    on.”

    I stopped kissing him and stared directly into his eyes. My face felt warm. His hair
    was disheveled. I could see his chest heaving back and forth from each solid,
    heavy breath he took. We always got to this point–a place where if we continued,
    we would cross that imaginary line. But I always pulled away and he didn’t
    pressure me. He said we would have sex on my terms–when I was ready. He
    wanted me to be one hundred percent sure. It would be our first time, not only
    together, but our first time ever. I really wanted to kiss him again and let it
    continue, but I knew it wasn’t the right place or the right time. I just wondered
    when that time would come.

Chapter 4

    Jesse was on my mind. I wanted to know how it went with his dad but I had to be
    patient, to give him time. He needed some space. I kept checking the time on my
    phone. It was a little after six o’clock, and I still hadn’t heard from him. I hoped
    that everything had gone well. I could never truly relate to what Jesse was going
    through.

    I held the porcelain tea pot by its handle and poured Nana’s hot tea into a cup.
    Her tea was perfect: lots of sugar and evaporated milk. I carried the cup and
    walked outside to the front porch. It was starting to get dark out and was a little
    warmer than it had been. I sat down next to Nana on the swing and we swayed
    gently, rocking back and forth and back and forth again. Nana didn’t say anything.
    Instead, we just sat on the swing, moving, listening to a myriad of pleasant
    sounds: the rustling of trees blowing from the gentle breeze and a gaggle of
    geese migrating south for winter. She wrapped her arms around me and nudged
    me closer to her. Being wrapped in her arms made me feel safe.

    “I have a