The Youth & Young Loves of Oliver Wade: Stories by Ben Monopoli Read Free Book Online Page A

Just no one else knows me.
    Boydyboy: it’s the opposite for me. I see everything....... except
maybe what’s right in front of me......................
    OwOw0: how so?
    Boydyboy: i don’t think i have to explain it to you. i hope i dont
    OwOw0: No. I think I know how it is.
    Boydyboy: ys . yes. i believe you do Ollie.
    OwOw0: It’s nice to have someone just “know” what you’re talking
about without needing some huge explanation.
    Boydyboy: i know

 
    Sometimes there seemed to be something hiding in his
words, alluding to a deeper connection that was only ever one unsent IM from
coming out. Mysterious things, things he hoped he wouldn’t have to explain to
me, things he hoped I would just know .
But it was fleeting.

 
    Boydyboy: so anyway, work sucked so much today. it’s only been amonth but this Big D job sucks. Lady today was like make
sure my eggs don’t break and i was like i know how to bag your fuckin egg.s
    OwOw0: Sorry to hear that. she sounds like a huge ass. ar eyou OK?
    Boydyboy: I’m tired and frustrated. But mostly frustrated
    OwOw0: Frustrated about what?
    Boydyboy: oh, you know, life and love and STUFF. *sigh*

 
    Love? His IMs could set me ablaze with hope. But although
my hope was roaring, it was fragile, like the hottest fire that can nonetheless
be snuffed out with a carton of old milk. I was always afraid of hearing too
much. It was dangerous to ask for explanations or clarity. Instead I would
agree with his vagueness as if I were catching his drift loud and clear. I
could live with not knowing whether Boyd loved me, but I was terrified of
finding out for sure that he didn’t.

 
    OwOw0: Yeah i’m frustrated too.... *sigh*
    Boydyboy: life is frustrating overall.
    OwOw0: at least you have a job though. and some money!
    Boydyboy: what’s the point of money if you dont have someone to spend it on.... i’ll be back. I need
a beer.
    OwOw0: haha , really? Where do you get a
beer??
    Boydyboy: my dad won’t notice, he has moooore than plenty. Who cares anyway. be back.
    OwOw0: OK.
    Boydyboy: back.
    OwOw0: hi. did you get one?
    Boydyboy: yup
    OwOw0: My dad is away tonight. and my mom. their anniversary
weekend.
    Boydyboy: really? you didn’t mention this. let’s have a drinking
party at your house then.
    OwOw0: hahahaha . that would be amazing.
    Boydyboy: you know it would. :-)
    OwOw0: but a bad idea. who knows what we would say if we lost our
inhibitions..........................
    Boydyboy: oh? what might we say exactly>?
    OwOw0: be right back
    Boydyboy: OK........................................................

 
    Sometimes I would say things accidentally and panic, and
wonder if it had really been an accident. I would look at the screen while my
brain scrambled for excuses. Excuses that were codes that could lead to
openings that could lead to everything. But only if he was looking.

 
    OwOw0: Back.
    Boydyboy: hi
    OwOw0: I mean we’re perverted enough when we’re sober hahaha . Remember that would-you-rather thing where I told
you I’d rather get fucked by a wolfhound than get fucked by Mrs Doyle with a strap-on dick?
    Boydyboy: uh yeah. But I’m not feeling perverted now.
    OwOw0: No i guess I’m not either.
    Boydyboy: actually I’m kinda in a “why does the world have to be so
hard” kind of mood.
    OwOw0: I’m always in that kind of mood....I just try to push it
back. I listen to REM
    Boydyboy: yeah you’ve always got your REm don’t you.
    OwOw0: it soothes the pain.
    Boydyboy: Is there someone out there? i always wonder. there might be someone........

 
    I would imagine him looking, sitting in his room, in the
dark, in his holey corduroys, nursing the beer with tears in his eyes.

 
    OwOw0: I think there is boyd . I think I’m
sure of it.
    Boydyboy: i feel like it’s too much to
ask. can’t raise hopes too high...

 
    I would want to drive over to his house and put my arms
around him, kiss all his cowlicks. I would—if I wasn’t so afraid of him
wanting