Theme Planet by Andy Remic Read Free Book Online Page A

secret tunnel that leads under the secret sea to the secret island called
The Lost Island that everybody at school’s been talking about, so please,
Daddy, please, please, please will you take me on an expedition to Adventure
Central and we can meet bandits and find The Lost Island and everything?”
     
    Dex digested this information. “If
everybody at school,” he said, carefully, “has been talking about The Lost
Island, how can it be lost? It means they found it. It’s no longer lost. It’s
been found.” He smiled at her. Molly made a phut sound and climbed down
off his knee.
     
    “That’s okay, Dad. If you’re too scared...”
     
    “Oh, scared is it?” he
said, and grabbed her round the waist, tickling her ribs. She giggled and
started kicking and woke Toffee up, who started crying, just as Katrina arrived
carrying two MUGGS of coffee and frowning.
     
    “I leave you three alone for a
minute...” she said.
     
    “Daddy said he’s taking us to
Adventure Central,” said Molly, smugly.
     
    “Er, no I did not!”
     
    “You promised!”
     
    “Did I?”
     
    “You did. You did!”
     
    “And I want to go as well,”
pouted Toffee.
     
    Katrina gave him a withering
look. “Well Dex, looks like I’ll be sunbathing and admiring all those hunks on
the beach all on my own.” She grinned, and he took the coffee from her
and considered pouring it on her head.
     
    “Yeah. Right.”
     
    ~ * ~
     
    It was
night. Or at least, night by their body-clocks. The cabin’s lights had been
dimmed and the Shuttle seats unrolled back into beds. Both Molly and Toffee
were covered by Snooze-o blankets and Dex and Katrina were reclining, sharing a
bottle of Helix Towers red wine. The Shuttle had been rapidly accelerating for
the last ten hours to 0.7LS and they were heading for a JUMP which, Dex knew,
would make him want to vomit and feel like he was wearing his internal organs
on the outside. Annoyingly, Katrina felt no adverse effects during a JUMP. She
used it as another excuse to call Dex a “pussy.”
     
    “So then, lover. This time
tomorrow, we’ll be walking hand in hand down the beach.”
     
    “Your reckon?”
     
    “I hope so.” She smiled.
     
    “But what about all those hunks
you mentioned?”
     
    “Hey, I have my own hunk right
here.” She stroked his chest and kissed him, and their tongues lingered for a
few moments until the flashing lights in the headrests of the seats in front
got brighter and brighter and a buzzer started to get progressively louder.
     
    No Snogging, said the flashing sign. Snogging leads to sex. This is a No Sex Shuttle... unless you wish to upgrade to First Class+++, only an
extra $£15,000 and have your very
own Sex Suite! You know it makes sense.
     
    Dex groaned. “Told off by a
fucking headrest. The fucking ignominy.”

 
    “That’s a long word for a PUF.”
     
    “Yeah, laugh it up. I’m not as
dumb as you look.”
     
    “Cheeky.”
     
    “Better believe it.”
     
    “So then...” Her hand was still
rubbing his chest. “Are we going to visit Pleasure Island whilst we’re on TP?”
     
    “You fancy that, do you?”
     
    “Oh yes,” said Kat, a sparkle in
her green eyes. “There’s The Glade of Eternal Delight, the Hanging Gardens of
Babylon, a Sex Theme area, The Pleasure Trail...”
     
    “You have been doing your
research. However, much as I don’t wish to spoil your fantasy mental party, you
seem to forget we have two psychotic dependents who need psychotically
depending on.”
     
    “I’ve looked into that, as well.
They have a baby-sitting service. For just this purpose.” She winked.
     
    “Interesting.”
     
    “You better believe that” said Kat, leaning forward.
     
    No Stroking of Chest Hairs, said the flashing sign. STROKING OF CHEST HAIRS LEADS TO SNOGGING AND
SNOGGING LEADS TO SEX. THIS IS A No Sex SHUTTLE... UNLESS YOU WISH TO
UPGRADE TO FIRST CLASS+++, ONLY AN EXTRA $£15,000 AND HAVE YOUR VERY OWN SEX
SUITE! YOU KNOW IT