Theophilus North by Thornton Wilder Read Free Book Online Page B

that it might have ended in disaster. If some such complication should present itself to you again, I hope you will get in touch with me. I have done some helpful things for the Chief of Police and he has been kind and helpful to me and to some of the guests in my house.” She put her hand briefly on mine and added, “Will you remember that?”
    â€œYes, indeed, Mrs. Cranston. I thank you for letting me know that I can trouble you, if the occasion arises.”
    â€œMr. Simmons! Mr. Simmons!”
    â€œYes, ma’am.”
    â€œPlease rejoin us and let us break the law a little bit.” She tapped a handbell and gave a coded order to the bar boy. As a sign of good fellowship we were served what I remember as gin-fizzes. “Mr. Simmons tells me that you have some ideas of your own about the trees of Newport and about the various parts of the town. I would like to hear them in your own words.”
    I did so—Schliemann and Troy and all. My partition of Newport was, of course, still incomplete.
    â€œWell! Well! Thank you. How Edweena will enjoy hearing that. Mr. North, I spent twenty years in the Bellevue Avenue City, as most of my guests upstairs have; but now I am a boarding-house keeper in the last of your cities and proud of it. . . . Henry Simmons tells me that the gentlemen in Herman’s Billiard Parlor thought that you might be some kind of detective.”
    â€œYes, ma’am, and some other undesirable types that he was not ready to tell me.”
    â€œMa’am, I didn’t want to put too heavy a burden on the chap in his first weeks. Do you think he’s strong enough now to be told that he was suspected of being a jiggala , maybe, or a smearer? ”
    â€œOh, Henry Simmons, you have your own language! The word is ‘gigolo.’ Yes, I think he should be told everything. It may help him in the long run.”
    â€œA smearer , Teddie, is a newspaperman after dirt—a scandal hound. During the season they’re thick as flies. They try to bribe the servants to tell what’s going on. If they can’t find any muck they invent some. It’s the same in England—millions and millions read about the wicked rich and love it. ‘Duke’s daughter found in Opium Den—Read all about it!’ And now it’s Hollywood and the fillum stars. Most of the smearers are women, but there’s plenty of men, too. We won’t have anything to do with them, will we, Mrs. Cranston?”
    She sighed. “They aren’t entirely to blame.”
    â€œNow that Teddie’s wheeling up and down the Avenue he’ll begin to get feelers. Have you been approached yet, old man?”
    â€œNo,” I said sincerely. A minute later, I caught my breath; I had indeed been “approached” without realizing what lay behind it. Flora Deland! I shall give an account of that later. It occurred to me that I should keep my Journal locked up—it already contained material not elsewhere obtainable.
    â€œAnd the gigolo , Mr. Simmons?”
    â€œJust as you wish, ma’am. I know you’ll forgive me if I call our young friend by one nickname or another. It’s a way I’ve got.”
    â€œAnd what are you going to call Mr. North now?”
    â€œIt’s those teeth, ma’am. They blind me. Every now and then I’ve got to call him ‘Choppers.’ ”
    There was nothing remarkable about my teeth. I explained that I had spent my first nine years in Wisconsin, a great dairy state, and that one of its gifts to its children was excellent teeth. Henry had good reason to envy them. Children reared in the center of London often missed this advantage; his caused him constant pain.
    â€œChoppers, old fellow, the men at Herman’s thought for a while that you might be one of these—?”
    â€œGigolos.”
    â€œThank you, ma’am. That’s French for dancing partners with ambitions. Next month