There Will Come a Time by Carrie Arcos Read Free Book Online

to go long and he took off running, not even looking over his shoulder. In the last second, he turned and the ball slid into his hands. It was beautiful. Seth jumped up and down and keptsaying, “Did you see that, Don? Did you see me? Who’s number one?” He smiled so big as he ran toward me. I woke up. It was a good dream.
    Don
    I haven’t told anyone about the group. I’m not sure what they’d think. I like that it’s my own thing. Maybe it’s weird to be talking to total strangers, but at the same time it makes perfect sense. They get me in a way that my parents, Hanna, even Sebastian can’t.
    Mark,
    To answer your question with another question, are we ever really whole? We’re all broken in some way. Tell anyone who wants you to get over it to go to hell, sorry for my language. Kristen died five years ago, and I wanted to kill everyone who told me I just needed time. You know what time does? It makes me older when Kristen isn’t. You know what’s the most tragic thing? Getting older than your twin. But you’re not alone. There are people here who get you.
    Are you coming to the LA meet-up next month? If so, I’ll see you there.
    Greg
    Twinless Twins hosts these meet-ups once a month in my area, and then a big conference in the summer where they talk about dealing with loss and grief and anger. I’m thinking about going. It’s also for family and friends. Maybe Hanna or Sebastian would come with me.
    I write Greg back and tell him maybe.
    I get into bed and try to go to sleep. One, two, breathe in. One, two, breathe out. After what feels like a couple of seconds, I hit the vibrating alarm next to my head—12:01 a.m. I listen for noise in the house, but there’s nothing. I grab my shoes from the floor next to the bed, knowing now to wait to put them on after I’m out the front door. I made the mistake of wearing them down the stairs one night, and Jenny pushed open her door and peeked out into the hallway. I froze halfway down the stairs, hoping that the darkness covered me. I waited until she slowly closed her door, then kept going.
    Outside, the air is warm with a hint of the approaching fall. Apple-picking time. Every year we go to the mountains to a farm where we each get a white paper bag with a little handle and pick as many apples as we can fit into the bag. It’s kind of cheesy, but Grace loves it. She loved it.
    We always stop at the same restaurant on the way home. We drive to it with the windows down because you can smell the baked apple pie from, like, a mile away. Grace, Jenny, Dad, me,even Fern, each get our own slice with a huge scoop of vanilla ice cream. It’s hard to find moments when everyone’s happy, but this is ours, our snapshot as some magazine family.
    This year none of us has mentioned going. It wouldn’t really be the same. We should probably cancel Thanksgiving and Christmas too. I can’t imagine trying to sit through turkey and green-bean casserole without Grace.
    I’m sitting on the front steps, lacing my shoes, when a car pulls up in front of Hanna’s house. The passenger door opens, and I hear Hanna’s laugh. She gets out and stands on the sidewalk, waving as the car drives off. She watches the car until it turns at the end of our street. Then she looks at my house, and I lower my head, hoping that she won’t see me, but no such luck.
    â€œSpying on me now?” she says quietly as she approaches.
    She’s wearing one of her best outfits: black skinny jeans and a tight striped shirt. It’s the same outfit she wore to the concert we went to over the summer when she was on one of her Let’s go and do something fun to try and act normal missions.
    â€œYou wish,” I say, and stand. I meet Hanna by my dad’s car. “Who was that?” I nod toward the end of our street.
    She hesitates. “River.”
    As soon as she says his name, I’m angry and