Things I Want My Daughters to Know by Elizabeth Noble Read Free Book Online Page B

it was spent. Mark had upgraded her far too childish Shuffle to an iPod that played films and music videos.
    He’d had the back engraved with her name, and even downloaded some concerts onto it. The presents made her feel quite grown-up.
    “I’ve got something for everyone now.” They’d finished dinner, and the waiters had brought a chocolate mousse cake with candles in it from the kitchen, and all the diners, much to Hannah’s excruciating embarrassment, had sung “Happy Birthday” to her. They were drinking coffee. “I hope Hannah doesn’t mind me doing this here,” Jennifer was continuing, “but we aren’t all together all that often, and I wanted us to be all together for this.”
    She’s pregnant, Mark thought.
    She’s left Stephen, Lisa thought.
    Jennifer pulled out a thick sheaf of papers from a tote bag she’d kept beside her at the table. The pages were all neatly bound with plastic edges. Amanda thought, not for the first time, what a good but scary teacher her sister would have made.
    She’s not pregnant.
    She hasn’t left Stephen. Mark and Lisa independently wondered whether their disappointment could be heard.
    “Mum left us . . . left me something, when she died. She left me this.” She held up a colorful folder. “It’s a journal, really. Things she wrote. Things she wanted her daughters to know. When she was ill, and when she knew . . . when she knew she was dying. She left it for me first because”—she paused; she didn’t want to say why—“because my life is such a mess. . . . But she obviously wanted the rest of you to read it, too. I can’t give it to everyone all at once, so I’ve made some copies. . . .”
    She handed them around as though she were giving a seminar.

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    “I know it’s not so personal as the actual thing; you know, the paper she wrote on. You can all have a turn with that—I’m not hogging it. I just thought . . . I just thought we should all have a copy we could keep . . .” Her voice trailed away a little.
    The image of Jennifer standing by the photocopier at the office feeding bits of their mum’s diary into a machine made Amanda want to laugh.
    It was so efficient, and . . . so Jennifer. Mum would have loved it!
    Hannah opened her copy, saw her mother’s handwriting, and closed it again. Not tonight.
    Lisa and Andy gave Jennifer a lift home. Amanda was staying the night. She and Hannah put clean linen on the bed in the guest room, giggling as they both fought to be the fastest to pull the elasticated bottom sheet over the corners. Once they’d secured it, Amanda threw herself back onto the mattress, and Hannah lay down, too, from the other side, so that their heads met in the middle. They both stared at the ceiling.
    “I’ve had too much to drink.”
    “Disgusting.”
    “I know. I’m a lush. Did you have a nice time, baby?”
    “You’re going to have to stop calling me baby soon. I’m sixteen now.
    Besides, it’s very Dirty Dancing. ”
    “Okay. No more baby. Did you have a nice time, Hannah ?” Amanda turned her head too fast to look at her sister.
    “I did.” Amanda was still looking at her. Or squinting, in a sort of unfocused way.
    “I really did. I mean, I was afraid, a bit, that I’d be all sad. But I was okay.”
    “You were cool.”
    That felt nice.
    “And now I’m going to go to sleep.” Amanda closed her eyes.
    “You’re still dressed. And you haven’t brushed your teeth.”

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    Amanda laughed, but she didn’t open her eyes. “What are you, the personal hygiene police?”
    Downstairs, Mark was waiting for Hannah.
    “I’ve got something for you.”
    “More? Even I think I’m spoiled now. . . .”
    He held out a card and a small, beautifully wrapped box. Hannah knew immediately.
    “It’s from Mum.”
    Mark nodded. “She told me to give it to you today.”
    “Oh.”
    She opened the box first. It was a pair of very small,