This Can't Be Happening at Macdonald Hall by Gordon Korman Read Free Book Online Page B

Diane, what were you doing with Petunia?”
    With a great smile of satisfaction Bruno related the first episode of the ants and then their second coming. “To make a long story short,” he concluded, “the exterminator has had to come twice — at
my
expense. I’m now known as Bad Luck Bruno in Dormitory 2. Elmer is so scared of me he just about faints when I walk into the room.”
    â€œSo where is all this getting us?” demanded Boots.
    â€œI don’t know about you,” Bruno replied, “but my dorm is circulating a petition to get rid of me. If it comes to you, sign it.”
    â€œBut that doesn’t help me,” Boots complained. “I cannot and
will not
live in this hospital-stock exchange any longer!”
    Bruno shrugged and stretched out on George’s bed. George probably would have collapsed had he known that his bed was absorbing another person’s germs.
    â€œWe’ll just have to show The Fish how awful George and Elmer really are,” Boots decided.
    â€œHow can we do that?” Bruno protested. “They’re only awful to us.”
    â€œWell then, we’ll just have to
make
them awful,” Boots insisted. “Report to the old cannon at 0100 hours Sunday with a collection of distinguishable Elmer Drimsdale possessions. I’ll bring some stuff belonging to George. If we can’t frame them right into the Don Jail, my name isn’t Melvin P. O’Neal! As of this moment,” he added, “the
p
stands for ‘pushed around for the last time’!”

Chapter 8
Raid!
    George was carefully hanging up his tuxedo and brushing off the velvet lapels. “What a superb evening!” he remarked, knowing full well how much Boots had wanted to go to the dance. “The young ladies danced like angels, and the ballroom was a masterpiece of décor.”
    â€œIt really must have been great,” Boots agreed sarcastically. “After all, what could be more elegant than waltzing over the foul lines of a basketball court?”
    George ignored him. “And the food — a really extravagant buffet!”
    â€œYes, I know,” said Boots sourly. “Colonel Sanders’ boys make it finger-lickin good.”
    â€œIt’s a shame that you were unable to attend, Melvin, but if you insist on acting like a barbarian —”
    â€œJust shut up and go to sleep,” Boots snapped.
    George changed into his pyjamas, still trying to give the impression that he had had an enchanting evening.
    â€œYou know, I’m sort of glad I didn’t go,” Boots murmured reflectively. “Can you imagine all the germs a guy could pick up at that kind of affair?”
    George sniffed and got into bed without another word.
    When his roommate was sound asleep, Boots went into operation. Fifteen minutes later the window opened and out he went — along with a monogrammed money clip, a shiny new cell phone and a gold pen and pencil set, all clearly the property of George Wexford-Smyth III.
    * * *
    Elmer had not gone to the dance either. “I don’t see how everyone can go and dance with
girls
,” he said with disgust. “Girls are so icky! I’m glad you didn’t go, Bruno. At least one person in this school besides me has some sense.”
    â€œYes, Elmer,” Bruno sighed, ready to make his move as soon as his roommate went to sleep. He watched in dismay as Elmer set up an elaborate tripod supporting a high-powered telescope. “Aren’t you going to bed?” he asked.
    â€œOn a clear night?” Elmer replied, as if Bruno had suggested the impossible. “On a clear night I can scan the whole sky.”
    â€œWhy in the world would you want to do that?”
    â€œI’m an astronomer,” Elmer explained. “My world is the heavens, the universe, the vastness of intergalactic space … Now if you’ll excuse me, my telescope is a little out of