elbow and presents her to me. “Gem, pay no attention to anything this one says.”
“She has no filter,” Smith adds.
The girl puts her hands on her hips. “For your information, I do have a filter. My mouth filter is optional , and I simply opt not to use it.”
“Good to know,” I say, one hand extended politely.
“Claudia Young.” Clearly not a student of body language or a believer in personal space, Claudia skips the handshake and goes straight in for the hug.
She’s about my height with the slim, wiry build of a long distance runner. A shock of platinum blond hair swoops low over one side of her oval-shaped face in a style that I can only describe as skate punk meets post-modern. She has deep-set dark brown eyes and a wide, pretty mouth.
“You’ll love it here,” she comments as she turns sideways and squeezes past me. “What we lack in amenities, we make up for in character.” When she sees the animal carrier in my hands, she bends forward to peek through the cage bars. Her red-shellacked mouth twists up and her eyes turn round as dinner plates. “And what do you have there? A fat squirrel?”
A fat squirrel ? Checking on the dove grey ball of fur cowering toward the back of the carrier, I expel a breath and try not to be offended for my pet’s sake. “Weebit isn’t a squirrel. He’s actually a chinchilla.”
She pauses to check out Weebit again before popping over to the refrigerator to help herself to a can of soda. Smith is right behind her. “A chinchilla? Well that’s different.”
I’ve gotten used to this reaction. Chinchillas aren’t particularly rare , but they’re not exactly mainstream. Ren, for one, thought I’d lost my mind when I showed up with Weebit and his giant cage last month. I tried to explain that I was bored and lonely with him working so many hours on the show. Ren’s response: If you’re bored, you could work out more. It would be good for your body.
To Claudia, I say, “I’m allergic to cats and chins are clean, quiet and cute. Don’t worry—he won’t bite you.”
“Then I won’t bite him,” Claudia says, plonking herself down on the couch with the gusto of familiarity. Adjusting the cushions behind her back, she says in a conversational tone, “So we heard you just got steamrolled by Ren Parkhurst.”
Julie throws her hands up and lets loose an annoyed shriek. “Claudia!”
“What’s the problem?” Claudia, who I have to remind myself hails from the planet No-Filter, pushes a white-blond tendril from her forehead and scrunches up her nose. “I think I’m only stating the obvious. At least I didn’t lead with a pregnancy question.”
“ Agghhh!” Julie cries out. “That’s not the point, Claudia! It’s so obnoxious to just put that out there when—”
“It’s okay, Jules!” My voice barges in and steals the spotlight. I wave my left hand aggressively because I don’t know what else to do with myself. “Just so we’re all clear, I’m not pregnant with Ren’s baby.”
Julie slouches with relief and laughs. “Thank you, God. I was almost afraid to ask.”
Unaffected, Claudia opens her soda can and takes a long swig. “Glad to hear about the status of your womb. I swear I didn’t mean to start off on the wrong foot. I figured you might as well be prepared for the commentary because people are going to bring it up. The image of you passing out on the bathroom floor while your boyfriend gets it on with someone else is seared into people’s brains . ”
I nod. Thanks for the reminder .
“ I gotta hand it to you for becoming a part of the pop culture machine. Many have tried, but few have succeeded.” She lifts her soda like she’s toasting me.
“Yep.” More nodding. I’m nodding so much that the room is starting to go cockeyed.
“Anyway, I should probably
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