evolutionary thing. I donât know. What I do know is there is a difference between a person like that and most of the people you fall in love with. If you havenât met one, you may not believe such a connection honestly exists. But I promise you it does.
We sat in the living room, away from most of the partygoers, and talked about everything. Sheâd seen every film I thought was important. There was no quote she didnât recognize. She used the word âfilmâ instead of âmovie.â Her grandmother and my grandfather were both raised in the same tiny dairy farming town. I could go on and on with the coincidences, but all you really need to know is I would have eaten anything, nothing, gone hungry for days for the privilege to sit there and talk to her. And yes, her beauty was bright enough to blind me, but it didnât. I was too enamored with our mental connection to think about sex. And this was college, remember.
It seemed like a foregone conclusion that we would be together. Why on earth would anyone turn down the chance to share their time with someone so clearly like themselves? So, five hours later, after more drinks and Twinkies and a two-mile walk to her apartment, I asked for her phone number. This was before cell phones were common, so I waited for her to pull a scrap of paper from her purse and write it down. I never imagined for a moment anything else would happen.
But it didnât happen.
âI canât, Thomas,â she said. âI have a boyfriend.â
Again, this was college, a time when relationships are often fleeting, so I didnât quite comprehend. I know it sounds arrogant now, but at the time I honestly couldnât imagine why she wouldnât at least want to talk to me more, not after the conversation weâd just had.
So I asked again, and again she turned me down.
âDonât you want to talk to me again?â
âI do,â she answered. âVery much so.â
âThen let me call you.â
âThomas, I canât. If we talked on the phone I would want to see you again, and if I did that I would be violating Jackâs trust. I canât do that.â
âWell, didnât you just do it for the past five hours?â
âWe were drunk.â
âGloria, please.â
âIâm sorry,â she said, and put her arms around mine, hugging me desperately. When the day began I hadnât even known her, and now it felt like we were breaking up.
âYou know what they say,â she said. âIf itâs meant to happen, it will.â
Then she let go of me. We stood there looking at each other for a minute, and I wanted to take her back into my arms. It seemed for all the world like she wanted the same thing. Her body language said one thing and her words said another and there was nothing I could do about it. Finally she turned and unlocked the door of her apartment. She went inside. She turned and looked at me as the door closed. Her face was a rectangle that narrowed by degrees, and then she was gone.
Back in the present, on the couch, Gloria pulls me on top of her and wraps her flannel legs around me. She kisses me hard, mouth open wide, she reaches for the buttons of my jeans. Andâ
And what the hell is she going to say when she touches me down there? The size difference is so obvious that sheâs clearly going to freak out. I wouldnât be surprised if she screamed.
But thereâs no stopping her now. She unfastens my jeans and pushes her hand into my open fly, but the denim wonât stretch enough for her to make any real progress. For this situation, however, I have a standard moveâa pushup, basicallyâwhich allows Gloria to wrestle my jeans down to my ankles. The friction of the denim will usually pull down my boxers as well, tonight being no exception, and she reaches for me as I push the jeans past my ankles.
Now that Iâm erect, the size difference is
Laramie Briscoe, Seraphina Donavan