scooped a large helping of salad on my plate. “She tell you about our afternoon?”
“ Just that you went to lunch. More to it than that?”
I told her about seeing Mike and then our conversation on the way home as we ate. She listened but didn't say anything, tearing off hunks of bread as I talked.
“She didn't say anything,” she said when I'd finished. “She was in a decent mood.”
“ Good,” I said. “I figured she just needed some time alone.”
Lauren nodded. “Yeah, probably.”
I watched her eat another slice of bread. She picked a tomato from the salad bowl and popped it into her mouth.
She finally realized I was watching her. “What?”
“What's wrong?”
She shook her head. “Nothing.”
“Lauren. What's wrong?”
“ Why do you think something's wrong?”
“ You didn't interrupt me once while I told you about this afternoon,” I said. “And you're fine letting her stay up in her room, with no additional commentary. The last time you were this quiet was never. So what's wrong?”
She made a grunting sound and I wasn't sure if it was because I was right or because she thought I was full of crap. She pushed the plate away and glanced up at the stairs, then back at me. “I was working through my calendar today. At work.”
“Okay.”
“ I've got a case that doesn't look like it will settle,” she said. “We hoped it was going to and there's still time, but we have to get it calendared. So we were working with the opposing council to clear some dates. We've still got discovery to get through and some other crap that needs to get done, so its not an immediate thing.”
“ Okay,” I said, still not understanding.
“ The date the opposing council is pushing for is about nine months away,” she said, crumpling up her paper napkin and throwing it on the plate. “And it got me thinking.”
Nine months away. The pregnancy.
I stood and gathered the dishes, setting them in the sink. I tossed away the napkins, covered the salad bowl with plastic wrap and put it in the fridge. I wrapped up the leftover bread and set it on the counter. Then I took my seat at the table again.
“ So we need to talk about it,” I said.
She pushed the hair away from her face, suddenly looking tired. “Yeah.”
“What do you want to do?”
She held up a hand. “Whoa. Let's stop right there. This isn't going to be just my decision. It's ours.”
“I know that.”
“ So don't ask me what I want to do. It's about what we want to do.”
I leaned back in the chair. I wasn't sure what she was telling me. I agreed. It was our decision to make. But, ultimately, she would bear more of the physical burden, no matter what we decided. That was the only point I was trying to make. Clearly, I hadn't made it.
“Whether you like it or not, this affects you differently than it does me,” I said. “In a number of ways. All I was trying to say was that if you feel strongly, one way or another, I will support you. I'm not going to overrule or veto anything you want.”
She narrowed her eyes. “That sounds like indifference to me.”
“It's not. It's me being supportive.”
“ Doesn't sound like it.”
“ Are you just looking for a fight?” I asked. “Because I don't really want to have one.”
She shook her head. “I'm not looking for a fight.”
“Then accept the fact that I just want to support you isn't indifference,” I said. “I'm not looking to impose my will here, Lauren. I just...”
She pushed away from the table. “Got it. Thanks.”
I bristled at the fact she was dismissing me, but I genuinely did not want to fight and I felt like whatever I said or did was going to lead to an argument. I couldn't win.
“ Where are you going?” I asked.
“ I don't know,” she said over her shoulder. “And just so you're clear. That's not indifference. I just don't know.”
Touche.
TEN
I slept upstairs.
Elizabeth and I went for our run the next morning and I liked that it was