evil.”
Even from ten feet away, I could see his eye twitch.
“It shouldn’t affect you through the bond or the baby.”
Cheney pinched the bridge of his nose. “I was the last person on my mind.”
He was far too good for me. I cleared my throat. “We needed a contingency plan.”
He moved in a little closer. “And that’s why you came to Sebastian, instead of me? What sort of contingency?”
“If I turn evil, I want someone to kill me. I don’t want to hurt people. I don’t want to be a killer.”
I kept my gaze steady on him. His jaw stiffened. The only sound in the garden was the light breeze through the plants. His eyes spoke volumes. He couldn’t do it and he knew it. He looked over at Sebastian. “You would make an excellent Erlking, Sebastian.”
Sebastian looked stunned, then angry. He turned around and stormed off in the other direction. Cheney watched him go with his eyebrows pulled together.
“He said no, Cheney,” I explained. “He can’t kill me. He said he couldn’t live with it any more than you or Sy could.”
Cheney closed the distance between us and pulled me in close. “You asked Sy?”
I shook my head. “I know he can’t.”
“What about the vampire?”
I laughed into his chest, though it wasn’t funny. No, Corbin wouldn’t kill me either. In fact, my going dark might suit him a little too well. “I don’t think we want to put our eggs in that basket.”
“Then who?”
“I’m going to ask Holden.”
“You can try, but I have a feeling he has something big going on right now.”
“He’s my only other option.”
Cheney shook his head. “If he says no and there’s no one left and no hope, I will do it.”
I pulled back a little and looked at him. “No one expects that of you.”
“I will if I have to.” He nodded, more to himself than to me. “Watching what happened to my father happen to you would be unbearable.” He hooked his finger under my chin, tilting it up. “But we need a better plan than just killing you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, we’ll have to contain you in some way until you have the child.”
I closed my eyes. I hadn’t even thought about that. Of course I would have to have the baby. If her soul would be unmarred, then we had to save her. I nodded. “In light of this, maybe we should postpone the wedding.”
He shook his head. “No. We’re getting married as planned.”
“If you kill me, you’ll die, too. We’ll orphan our daughter.”
Cheney nodded. “I know. Just like I don’t want you to turn into my father, I don’t want to either. I saw what losing my mother did to him. We know people, we know good people, who will take care of her if we can’t be there.”
My mouth fell open. I couldn’t believe he was even considering this. How could one of us not stay? Pain was thick in his eyes and my heart broke for him. Cheney would never do what his father did, but it was true that grief changed people. Sometimes it scarred them in ways from which they could never recover. My mouth was dry and I wasn’t sure my voice would even work. “Who did you have in mind?”
“Well, your Aunt Lorelei might be willing. Perhaps Sy or one of the coven.”
“How about Sebastian?”
He nodded slowly. “We could do joint custody to Sebastian and Katrina so she would have both an elf and a human to look to.”
I kissed him and rested a hand on his cheek. I couldn’t find the words to answer him, so I just nodded. My chest felt like it was caving in. I couldn’t believe we were even having this conversation. “But the best plan is to just stay alive,” I said quietly, my voice sounding raw and broken.
He put his hand on my cheek and leaned his forehead against mine. “Whatever it takes.”
His lips touched mine in a lingering kiss that made me feel both cherished and even more terrified of what I had to lose. My fingers wove into his soft hair. I’d made it through purgatory, through a curse, and through memory