Tiger Ragtime by Catrin Collier Read Free Book Online Page B

of her uncles, or away for an audition, she said, ‘How much sleep do you think I would get in the mission with the sailors whose ships are only in for a couple of days sitting up all night, talking, singing, drinking coffee, and eating waffles?’
    ‘Lots if you put cotton wool in your ears. But it’s not sleep you’re worried about, is it?’
    ‘No.’ She poured more sherry into her glass, not because she wanted to fill it but because she couldn’t bring herself to look at him. ‘I was never sure what I wanted to do with my life, and, truth be told, I still don’t know. But I enjoy running the bakery. It’s mine, I own it. Granted, by the grace of my bank manager, and the interest I pay on my business account, but I employ people who rely on me to pay them wages at the end of the week. I don’t want to give that up to run a house or a mission and look after a husband.’
    ‘Marriage doesn’t have to be like that,’ he countered.
    ‘It was with Peter and maybe it wouldn’t be like that with you at first. But in time it would.’
    ‘I’m looking after myself perfectly well now.’
    ‘No, you’re not. And please, let me finish,’ she begged before he had a chance to say another word. ‘Your sister does your laundry and mending; the ladies on the mission committee clean your room when they sweep out and dust the church and the public areas. Whoever’s manning the waffle iron makes your breakfast, the ladies’ committee your lunch, and Moody cooks supper for you most nights when he leaves here.’
    ‘That’s hardly surprising. He lives with my sister and he is her brother-in-law.’
    ‘Micah, all I’m trying to say is that your sister and the other women like looking after you and the seamen who call into the mission. It’s only natural. Most of them have husbands or fathers who are sailors and they miss them. You told me the first time you took me to your church that they like to help out because it pleases them to think that someone is doing the same for their men in whichever port in the world their ships are berthed. But it doesn’t alter the fact that I have a business to run. How could I manage the bakery if I was always worrying about whether or not you had clean underclothes and socks and what I was going to cook you for tea?’
    ‘My sister –’
    ‘And all the other ladies would stop doing your cleaning, cooking, and washing if we were married,’ she declared. ‘They would expect me to take over – and quite rightly so.’
    He looked her in the eye. ‘So you don’t want to marry me, not now, or ever. Is that what you’re saying?’
    ‘No.’ The long day had finally caught up with her and she felt exhausted. Too drained to think, let alone argue.
    ‘Then when will you marry me?’
    ‘You know I can’t answer that until Peter sends me the annulment papers.’
    ‘And if you receive them tomorrow?’ he pressed.
    ‘That’s not likely to happen,’ she said irritably.
    ‘But if you do?’
    ‘I don’t know, Micah,’ she snapped. ‘Do we have to talk about this now?’
    ‘This is one subject you never want to discuss.’
    ‘You know I love you,’ she pleaded earnestly. ‘Isn’t that enough?’
    ‘It’s a lot, Edyth, but it would be a whole lot more if I could live openly with you.’
    ‘Why can’t you be happy with things the way they are?’
    ‘How can I be, when we have to sneak around and pretend that we are just friends? Don’t you know how terrified I am every time we make love in case I make you pregnant?’
    ‘What if you did? I’m married,’ she retorted unthinkingly.
    ‘Peter left you months ago.’
    ‘The people who matter most – my friends and family wouldn’t care.’
    ‘I think your parents would. And so would I. And so might some of your customers. Is it so unreasonable of me to want my child to bear my name and not Peter’s? I also happen to believe that every child has a right to be brought up in a loving secure home by a mother and a