Tigers & Devils by Sean Kennedy Read Free Book Online Page B

and no ,” I said emphatically.
    “Well, what are you wearing?” Fran asked.
    Before I could answer, Roger said, “Are you going to let us in?”
    With as little grace as I could muster, I opened the door wider, and they slipped through.
    “After your lack of detail over lunch yesterday, I figured you would need help getting dressed,” Fran said blithely as she headed straight for my bedroom.
    “I can dress myself!” I protested weakly.
    “You’re as hopeless as Roger.”
    “I can dress myself,” Roger said snottily, sounding exactly like me only five seconds before.

    TIGERS AND DEVILS | 31

    “Oh, hun, you didn’t used to be able to,” Fran replied sorrowfully as she stood before my open wardrobe and peered hopefully within. “Simon, for a gay man, your wardrobe sucks.”
    I glowered. “We’re not all fashionistas or gym bunnies.”
    “You should be at least one of them.” Roger shrugged.
    I stared at him. “You know her statement about you and dressing? She’s right about that.”
    “Is that your best comeback?” Roger asked, obviously pitying my lameness on the subject. “Well, maybe your man will start choosing your outfits for you.”
    “He’s not my man, Roger. He’s my… coffee companion.”
    Roger and Fran could not subdue their fits of laughter. In fact, Fran almost fell head first into the wardrobe. She steadied herself and began pawing through my belongings.
    “Christ, Simon, do you have anything that wasn’t bought from an op-shop?”
    “It’s my style,” was my weak defense.
    “Your style says you’re cheap,” Roger told me.
    “And not in the good way,” Fran added, sounding muffled from her head being buried as she moved further into the wardrobe. I heard something about round heels in crappy track shoes.
    “Will there be any action with this… coffee companion?” Roger asked, trying not to sound interested.
    “I’m not a first date slut.”
    Roger raised an eyebrow, a quirk I always wish I could master.
    “Shut up,” I hissed. “Not all the time!”
    “Not all the time because there’s not many a time,” Roger said maddeningly.
    “You can talk! You and Fran—”
    “And if you ever tell our kids that…,” Fran said menacingly. I crossed my arms defensively over my chest. “Yeah, I’ll be sure not to tell your nonexistent children for fear of death.”
    Fran poked her head out of the wardrobe to stare at me. “And why does this guy want to date you?”
    “I’ve been asking myself that all week,” I said grumpily. “I don’t need your help doubting myself.”
    “Someone wants their ego pumped.” Fran moved back out of sight.
    “I’m just being honest,” I said, even though I knew it sounded like I was begging to get my ego pampered. “I don’t get it either.”
    Roger rolled his eyes, but said nothing. Fran continued rattling coat hangers. I sighed to myself, now really sounding self-pitying.

    32 | SEAN KENNEDY

    Fran crawled out of the wardrobe, which was pretty awkward as the bottom of it was filled with crap I was forever chucking in there with an out-of-sight-out-of-mind mentality. She clutched in her hands some items of clothing that I didn’t even know I had.
    “None of us know why we like the people we do,” she said, laying out the clothes on my bed. “I’m sure people look at Roger and wonder how he managed to snag me. But I love the doofus. So obviously this Declan guy sees something in you.”
    “ This Declan guy ,” Roger mimicked, giving a derisive snort. Fran glared at him. “So what if he can kick a bloody ball? He’s not a god, Roger!”
    I tried to avoid their latest spat by examining what Fran had picked out for me. A pair of slightly above-average black pants (sadly, the best I owned), a black button-down shirt and a casual jacket.
    “Jesus, Fran, he’s not going to a funeral.”
    “When have you ever seen him wear a colour?” Fran berated him and then turned on me. “Like it or not, we’re going shopping one