I've ever wanted."
Nodding, she gazed at the sights as
they passed, not shying away. The
difference was truly remarkable. "I know. Thank you. You're a good friend to me, my lord. Better than I deserve, really. It cannot be easy being seen with me."
Ah, there was a hint of the shy,
retiring maiden he'd seen the ballrooms of London all season. She hadn't disappeared, after all. Merely hidden her insecurities a bit
better. "I don't give a damn what
anyone thinks," he growled, his temper showing a bit, though he pushed it
aside. His father would have showed his
anger. Benjamin would not. "You know that. I never have."
"Still, it cannot be easy. But I do thank you. I'm not sure why you agreed to Nicholas's
outrageous plan, but I'm thankful you did. I want a few happy memories to take home with me once this has all
ended." She gave his arm a quick
pat, careful not to touch him for too long, lest it seem improper. "Life at Seldon Park will seem dull in
comparison to London, but I cannot regret my time here."
Benjamin's heart, the one few
people thought he possessed, warmed a bit at her words. He was happy she was enjoying herself so
thoroughly. He was also extremely glad
that she had no idea that escorting her through her last few weeks of the
season had been entirely his idea. It
had come to him as he'd watched her depart the ball with her companion as if by
divine inspiration. He'd been so
excited that he'd sought out Nicholas immediately to ask his approval.
Julia's brother had been hesitant
at first, of course. After all,
Benjamin wasn't truly related to Julia. However, Nicholas had appeared to give the proposal some thought and,
after an hour or so had returned to find Benjamin in the ball's card room,
ready to give his approval. For some
reason, Benjamin's pulse had quickened at the idea of bestowing such a gift on
the girl he'd known since childhood.
He'd understood the potential problems,
of course. He was nothing if not
logical, something that was often mistaken for ruthlessness. Even though Julia was a long-standing
friend, her presence at his side would be certain to spur talk, but Nicholas
was certain his sister could endure it with her usual grace and dignity. It would also help deter the many
matchmaking mamas and their equally as grasping daughters. There was that benefit, at least, for Benjamin,
even if not for Julia. They would
gossip and speculate, certainly, but, given that Julia now had the protection
of Lady Berkshire - and he did not want to know how Nicholas had managed that
feat - no one would give her the cut direct. Not like they had done so many times before.
Benjamin knew he owed her that
much, if not more. He owed her so much,
so many things. He would spend a
lifetime repaying his debt to her, even if she didn't know it. This gesture was simply another small way of
doing so.
"I am glad of that," he
said as another carriage passed them, the occupants extremely interested in
Benjamin and Julia, at least if the way they craned their necks was any
indication. "This time was meant
for you to enjoy yourself, Jules, not be in misery."
"I was miserable," she
confessed softly, so softly that he almost did hear her. "But then last night, even before
Nicholas came to me with this proposal, I decided that I could not allow those
awful chits to win. They may not care
for me, nor I for them, but that does not matter. If I am miserable, then they have exactly what they want. They win. I will not allow it."
"That's my girl," he
chuckled, and then immediately wished he could take the words back. She was not his girl, at least not really,
and he didn't want her to fill her head with fanciful ideas about the two of
them. However, she was still looking
about in wonder, and if she'd picked up on his words, she'd not reacted to
them. That was a relief. "Do you wish to