end up in tears even if I don't talk about her, so I figure, I may as well make the tears worth it.”
“His name was Richard. We were high school sweethearts. I met him in my English class. He was so smart and funny, even then. We left school, went to college and he proposed for the second time in Paris. At the top of the Eiffel tower, which is so not who he was. But he did it anyway.”
I look up at Daniel and he is listening so intently. His eyes sad but his mouth smiling like always.
“We had been out for the day, to Hever Castle. It was such a beautiful day, cold but sunny. The motorway was quiet, and we were listening to the radio. I remember the song that was playing when the lorry lost control and hit us. Bloody Robbie Williams , Angels.”
Daniel shakes his head and reaches out for my hand.
“I remember waking up, seeing the ambulance lights in front of us and then I looked over to Richard’s side. There wasn't a door anymore, and Richard.. He was slumped over the steering wheel, kind of anyway, and apart from a trickle of blood coming from above his eye, he just looked like he was sleeping.”
“I'm so sorry, Katie.”
“The doctor said he was dead as soon as the lorry hit us. The impact killed him. There was nothing anyone could have done. The only comfort I have is knowing he didn't suffer.”
When I say the words I inwardly wince. I have that comfort, but Daniel doesn’t. He watched his daughter suffer things I can’t imagine.What comfort does he have?
“Daniel, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't hav —”
“You need to stop saying sorry,” he smiles at me, “None of this is your fault. It isn't my fault either. It’s just what happened.”
We sit in silence, both of us looking at each other. Neither of us needing to say anything. When Daniel’s stomach growls, it makes us both laugh and the silence is broken. I take a mouthful of wine before standing up.
“So what will it be? Chinese? Pizza? Indian?”
“Pizza sounds great to me.” he smiles, a smile that touches his eyes this time.
“Let me hunt out a menu, I’ll be back in a minute.”
* * *
We take the drinks back inside and sit on the sofa, it’s only once I’ve sat down I notice Daniel’s eyes are fixed on something on the arm of the chair. To my absolute horror I realise it’s a pair of my knickers. They must have fallen out of my arms when I was running around earlier. It’s too late now. He has already seen them. I thank God that they are my nice ones, not the ones I would have been wearing a month ago that even the homeless wouldn’t want.
“They were drying.”
“What were?” Daniel looks up at me.
His eyes are glazed, I’m not sure how much he has had to drink, but it is certainly more than he can drive home on. I finished the first bottle and when he opened the second, I didn’t protest. The wine and the company were both helping me forget.
“The knickers sitting on the arm of the chair, they were drying before you got here. I thought I had taken them all upstairs…. Clearly not.”
“I hadn’t noticed.” he lies smoothly.
“Daniel,” I laugh, “They are right there. You’d have to be blind not to notice.”
“Was it that obvious?” he turns his head in my direction and flashes me the most beautiful smile.
“They are right there, of course it was obvious.”
“They are very nice knickers.” he grins, then his face falls, “I’m sorry. Can I please blame the half a bottle of Talisker I have in me?”
“You’re sorry you like my knickers or that you told me you like them?”
“The last one.” his eyes meet mine again and I see something that scares me in them.
“I think I should go to bed.” I whisper.
“I need to… well, I guess walk home.”
“I have a spare room. Or you’re welcome to the sofa.”
“Are you sure? The sofa is great, if