To Say I Love You by Anna Martin Read Free Book Online Page A

ask for, given the choice.
    The thing was, however much I wanted to feel sorry for myself, I couldn’t quite manage it. I couldn’t curl up in a ball and sob and think poor me, poor, poor me. Because there was a man inside who was my backbone, straightening me up and keeping me moving when all I wanted to do was crumple. Not everyone found someone in life who balanced them as perfectly as Will balanced me.
    Feeling stupid, I went back inside and locked the door behind me. If outside was still, there was life in here. Will was snoring, only softly but loud enough in the quiet house to be heard from the hallway. In the kitchen, I poured two glasses of water, added ice before taking them through to the bedroom.
    We didn’t have nightstands yet, so I put his on the floor next to the bed.
    When I crawled in next to him, he rolled over and wrapped his body around mine. I didn’t say anything but sighed deeply. It was a relief to be held by him again.
     
     
    T HE HOUSE started to take shape around us as I took charge of making it a space of our own. It wasn’t the sort of house that needed a lot of fuss. The most ostentatious thing about it was the yellow exterior; inside, things were neat and simple. A deep, comfortable couch and a leather armchair. A plain set of dishes. Enough drawers for our clothes—no point in having a lot of space. We’d never fill it all.
    Will’s office, the small room at the front of the house, was set up with a desk and a swivel chair and painted a beautiful, neutral color good for concentrating.
    Will finished his day whenever his work was done, all meetings tied up, the last e-mail sent, although his work BlackBerry was likely to go off at all hours of the day and night. He ignored it more than he answered it. I was folding laundry when he stalked into the bedroom and announced himself off duty.
    We sort of ran into each other at the end of the bed, and Will caught me as I tried to pass him in the too-small space, pulling me into his arms as I laughed and wriggled.
    “Mm,” I said against his shoulder as he held me tight.
    “Shh.”
    I wasn’t really going anywhere important, and being held like this was reassuring. Familiar. Especially when he held on to my arms, the loving embrace becoming stronger and more powerful. It put me in the sort of headspace I hadn’t been in for a while.
    When he let me go, I tipped my head for the best angle to kiss him, just softly, then I sank to my knees in front of him and rested my forehead against his hip.
    “Jesse,” he said softly, then stopped.
    “You know I’m yours, Sir,” I said. “Always.”
    “I’ll only ask you this once—are you sure you’re ready? Because if you’re not, this stops right now and you can take your time to build back up to it again.”
    “Respectfully, Sir, I’m ready. I… I’d like you to punish me.”
    I sat back on my heels and neatly presented. This position was so natural, so instinctive to me, and helped me settle into a familiar headspace. Like wrapping myself in an old blanket, this was reassuring. Here, I knew my place.
    Master ran his fingers through my hair, almost carelessly, then stepped around me and left me kneeling in place while he did something on the other side of the room. I took deep, calming breaths and tried not to be too excited at the prospect of an impromptu session.
    “Here,” he commanded, and snapped his fingers.
    I turned and crawled, remaining on my hands and knees in front of him until he sat on the edge of the bed, then I returned to my presenting position. We had this down to a dance, almost. He moved—I moved. It was as simple as that.
    “Why am I doing this, Jesse?” he asked. “Why should I hurt you?”
    “Because… I disobeyed you, Sir.”
    “By doing what?”
    “When you left, when I was here alone, I masturbated.”
    He was silent for a few moments, then he leaned down and caught hold of my chin tightly and tipped my head up so we were eye-to-eye.
    “When this is