feel my eyelids snapping shut.
All those little hints of my old life that I'd never get away from. I could outrun Men in Black, but not my past. I wondered how fair it was to drag Rhys along with me. That nice, sexy bloke I'd met once, so very long ago. In those days it was spaghetti bolognese, cooked from scratch with ingredients sourced from only the finest 24-hour shop. Now two sad little value tins tipped into a saucepan decorated with rustic hens was all we had time for.
I watched him stirring the thin sauce dourly, my sexy man who hated being put on hold and loved things that ran on time. Who liked order, routine, beer and predictability. I'd taken all that from him, piece by piece. Here we were, in the middle of bloody nowhere. None of his old friends to talk to, not Banana Boat or Lottery Dave. No one.
Just me. And the child. And neither of us were great company.
Oh, Rhys, what have I done to you? You can take the man out of the fun, but can you take the fun out of the man? Looks like I've tried bloody hard.
Just me. I've left so. much behind. All those friends of mine. The girls I'd go out on the lash with.
Ianto. Tosh. Owen. Jack. Andy. They say it happens when you get pregnant - you stop meeting up with people quite so much. You give up your friends along with the booze except for the odd not-taking-it-too-seriously-glass. In your head you're thinking that, once you've had the baby, it'll all be back to normal.
In a bit. Honest.
I'd been expecting we'd just spend a bit too much time alone in the flat, or breastfeeding over tea in John Lewis. Not that we'd be trapped in a caravan park. With our friends dead or millions of light years away. And us utterly unable to escape.
I saw Constable Tony Brown's face pressing down on me. I shook my head. No. Not yet, Gwen love. Not yet.
I thought of all the things Mrs Harries had said.
Rhys and I argued them back and forth. All those hints and clues of my old life - those bloody odd kids.
What were they? What were we going to do? What about that mention of a man in a military greatcoat?
There was only one person that could be... Surely?
There's a thing we've forgotten.' Rhys had adopted that 'seriously' tone he sometimes used. Normally before suggesting we redecorate or try a detox.
'Oh yes?' I was guarded.
'They talked about an abandoned airbase.'
'Oh,' I said. 'I see what you mean.'
His face lit up. 'Glad you do. I've no bloody idea what it means, just that... that it sounds...'
'It does, doesn't it?' I agreed. 'Like a sore thumb.'
I yawned. 'But I'm dead on my arse. I am flat-out knackered. I would kill for two hours' sleep.'
Rhys chuckled. 'If you could only hear yourself.'
'Oh, I know. I know.' I rolled my eyes. 'Listen to us.
Trying to solve a mystery when I'm too tired to even open a jar. Talking of which, better bring over the expresso bongo. Let's top up madam's milk supply so you can feed her while I crash.'
So much to do these days before you go to sleep.
In the old days it'd be throw your keys down, grab a glass of water as you flung your shoes off into the far corners and then fall onto your pillow. Not now. Now it was like I had a to-do list so long I may as well have given up on ever getting it done.
So there I was, yawning helplessly, with the expresser pump clamped to a breast when there was a knock at the door.
'Oh god,' I thought sickly. Let it not be bloody Tony Brown.
Til get it.' Rhys managed a tone that was both firm and warning. My hero.
He went to open the door.
Rhys
I opened the door. Tom and Josh stood there in the rain, both wearing bright yellow windcheaters. They looked like wet Teletubbies.
'Hello,' said Tom. 'Megan Harries gave us a call.
Can we come in?'
'We've brought beer,' smiled Josh. 'And pizza.'
'Let 'em in,' yelled Gwen.
They came in and sat down, and suddenly our little mobile home felt crowded.
They did all the right things. They asked Gwen how she was and didn't take her first reply as an answer.