Torn by A.F. Crowell Read Free Book Online Page B

see the wheels
spinnin’. Whatever the question is, ask it.”
    I just stared at him. I wasn’t sure what to
ask first.
    “Babe, please. You gotta say somethin’.” He
reached for my hand, but I pulled back and stood before he was
successful. “Leila, I understand you’re confused and probably hurt,
but it’s still me—”
    “Probably hurt? Oh
no, Jaxon, I am definitely hurt.” I stood and backed away from him.
“And as for it still being you, I don’t even know who you really
are. My God, I was going to marry you and I didn’t even know your
real name. What would you have done? Marry me and say, ‘Oh yeah,
babe, your new last name is Coleman, not Henderson’ or wait until I
signed the marriage license to notice? Jesus Christ, Jaxon—ahhhhh.”
I hunched over and clutched my belly. I knew immediately it was
just another contraction and started taking slow, deep breaths.
    “Shit.” He hobbled out of the bed. “Breathe,
baby, do you wanna sit?”
    I ignored him and focused on a spot on the
floor. Deep breaths in through my nose and slow exhales out through
my mouth.
    “Babe?” He rubbed his hand up and down my
bent back.
    After it passed, I straightened and looked at
him. He brushed the curls out of my face and tucked them behind my
ear. “It’s still me, babe. I swear the only thing that’s different
is my last name and my job. I’m still the same person who walked ya
to and from work, laughed with ya over popcorn in bed when we
watched stupid movies, and I’m still the same person you fell in
love with. It’s still me, and I still love you.”
    I stood there staring up at him, tears
glistening. “If this wouldn’t’ve happened, when were you going to
tell me?”
    “It’s what I wanted to tell you before it all
went down. I was gonna tell you everythin’.”
    I pulled the corner of my bottom lip between
my teeth. “Is there any more shit you need to tell me? Because if
so, this is the time. I’d rather just get it all over with
now.”
    He took my hands between his as he backed up
and sat back down on the bed, motioning for me to sit, too.
    “Full disclosure, babe. Until this is over,
you need to understand that to everyone, I’m MC. Which means you’re
gonna be an old lady. That means you can’t be questioning the
brothers, especially the Prez. You have to play the part until I
can end this.”
    “What does that mean? Play the part? Like in
the books I read, the guys don’t tell their women shit, do whatever
they want, and the old lady’s left to clean up after them. Oh and
we all know about the whores.” I felt a familiar fire ignite inside
of me.
    “Babe, you know it’s not like that, but if
you are around the brothers then yeah, you gotta act the part. Just
be respectful. I won’t be goin’ outta my way to bring you around
this shit though. I don’t want you at the club.” I glared at him.
“And not for the reasons you think.”
    “Really? Then what reasons, Jaxon?”
    “Because at any minute someone could show the
fuck up and start shit. You don’t need to be around that. I won’t
allow you to be caught up in this business.” He squeezed my
hands.
    “So why not quit? If it’s so dangerous and
people are trying to kill you, why stay with the MC?” I couldn’t
understand why he’d risk himself when we had a future—a daughter on
the way.
    “I can’t. I’ve invested three years of my
life in this and I won’t just give up and walk away. I’m not built
like that, Leila, you should know that by now.” He stiffened. “And
my gettin’ shot was random. They opened fire on everyone, not just
me. We lost two prospects in that clusterfuck.”
    “I’m sorry, Jax, I didn’t know, but I guess
that’s the point, right? I wasn’t supposed to know. That bothers
me, all of the secrets and nondisclosure.” I frowned as I
stood.
    “You have to know that it’s for the best you
not know this shit.” His beautiful green eyes pleaded for
understanding.
    “I don’t