at me, making me instantly recoil.
Fuck this shit. If he's going to be a prick, then why should I even keep trying. They're obviously fine on their own. They can do their own thing and I'll do my own thing. No need for us to interact.
Disgusted, I decide to take off again, this time to Walmart to pick up a lock for my bedroom door. I groan when I pull into the parking lot and realize that it's only 4 PM. The day is going by so slowly.
With a seemingly never-ending surplus of time to kill, I walk the aisles, picking up things that I want but don't actually need, then changing my mind and putting them back. I try on outfits that I'd never wear, look at shoes that I'd normally find hideous. Everything is interesting when you're killing time. If I weren't so lazy, I'd hop from store to store, but I feel drained on so many levels. Emotionally. Physically. Psychologically.
Once I finish shopping, I get into the longest line to check out. Then I put my items out in my car and come back inside to eat at the Subway attached to the store. Each bite is meticulously slow. My eyes flit between the clock on the wall and my turkey sandwich. Club Fet doesn't open until 8 PM. It's 6 PM now. By the time I go home, install my lock and get dressed, it will be time to leave. It will be boring getting there so early, but I'd rather be at the club than stay at home.
I finish my sandwich and throw my trash away. Then I head back out to my car, sighing as I slip behind the steering wheel. If I'm lucky, the boys will both be up in their rooms when I get home. That's highly unlikely, though. It's probably going to be another game of avoidance from the second that I walk through the door.
I listen to the radio to soothe my nerves on the way home. Low and behold, when I step into the house, the boys are still both watching television. I shake my head and grab a screwdriver from one of the drawers in the kitchen before going to my bedroom to change the doorknob. Just because they're home doesn't mean that I have to interact with them.
I'm about twenty shades of frustrated by the time I pry the knob and locking mechanism out of its packaging. Why manufacturers insist on sealing everything in so tightly that it practically takes an act of God to cut the product out, I'll never know.
Calm down. Once you put the lock on the door, you'll feel a lot better. You'll have more privacy. And besides, you still have time to kill. Doing this now will keep you occupied.
I suck in a breath, trying desperately to calm myself. Then I grip the screwdriver firmly in my right hand and start unscrewing the old doorknob from the door. The screws come out blessedly easy and I'm able to pull the doorknobs free on both sides. The locking mechanism, however...
I stick my finger in the hole where the doorknob should be, gripping the latch and trying to wiggle it out. It doesn't give. I grab the screwdriver and push it through the hole where the original doorknobs went through the latch. Then I grab both sides of the screwdriver and yank towards me. It still doesn't budge.
Stress balls up in my chest and floats to my head like smoke, burning my eyes. My teeth are clenched so tightly that I feel like they could crack. Violently, I jerk at the latch, losing all composure. It's a lot more stable than I am. After nearly ripping the door off of its hinges, I surrender, letting go of the screwdriver to sit back on my calves and cry uncontrollably. Why can't anything go right in this house?
“Are you alright?” a soft voice asks me from down the hall.
I glance back to see Earl standing there looking at me with an uncomfortable expression. Quickly, I wipe my eyes, sucking back in the emotions that so desperately need to spill out. “I'm fine.”
He takes an apprehensive step forward. “Do you need some help?”
I hold my hand out to him, turning my face away so that he can't see the fresh tear trail streaming down one of my cheeks. “I got this. Just go back and watch
Mark Tufo, Armand Rosamilia