Transformers Dark of the Moon by Peter David Read Free Book Online Page A

one of the truly great days of his life. She kicked the edge of the bed, startling him from his reverie. “Move on!” He looked up at her blankly, and she said, “Where’s your confidence, eh? Why I fell for you?” She finished puttingon her lipstick, capped the tube, and then affectionately ran her fingers through his messed-up hair. Automatically she started smoothing it down. “You’re amazing,” she said confidently, “and it’s just taking the world a while to catch up. Getting a job is hard for everyone.”
    He reached up, squeezed her hand, and then stood and headed for the bathroom. “You going to shave?” she said. “I love watching you shave.”
    “Yes, I’m going to shave, and what are you, five years old?”
    She sighed wistfully. “I loved watching my daddy shave when I was five,” she said as she followed him into the bathroom.
    “Great. Don’t remind me.”
    “You have a problem with my daddy?”
    “Nooo,” he said as he got the electric razor out of his cabinet. He shook it a few times out of habit to make sure it didn’t turn into something else. “It’s just that in one week, my parents are going to be here, on their road trip party bus world tour.” He looked bleakly into the mirror of the medicine cabinet. “I have to have a job by then, or my dad will spank me.”
    “He can’t do that! That’s
my
job!”
    She hoisted herself onto the sink and wrapped her legs around Sam. They were strong and muscular, and he felt as if he were melting. Her voice became silky, teasing. “
I’ll
give you a job. Tonight, romance me with a nice dinner. And then,” she said, starting to lean forward, “maybe I’ll give you your bonus—”
    Carly brought her tongue forward to lick the inside of his ear …
     … and then she screamed.
    Mood killer
, Sam thought as he grabbed at the side of his head, wondering if his eardrum had just been shattered.
Why the hell did she—?
    He didn’t even have to complete the thought. He should have known, or at least suspected, the answer immediately.
    He looked down and saw a ten-inch-tall blue alien robot staring up Carly’s skirt.
    She aimed a kick at him but came up short as he darted backward. As the robot got out of the way, Sam shouted at him, “
Brains!
What are you
doing
?!”
    “Just watchin’,” Brains said defensively, bobbing his head so that his wiry “hair” waved around like a field of wheat.
    Sam lashed out with his foot and had more luck than Carly had, catching Brains squarely across his torso. The robot zipped backward, and Sam endeavored to recapture the mood with Carly. But it was the romantic equivalent of trying to shove the toothpaste back into the tube. Carly, visibly shuddering, walked out of the bathroom. Sam followed her. “Carly—”
    She wasn’t listening. “I’m late, but the creepy one … yesterday, I found him in my underwear drawer.”
    Sam didn’t want to be in the position of having to defend the little perverts, but still …
    “They’re stuck here! They’re stranded. Someone’s gotta look out for them.”
    She stopped and turned back to him, automatically smoothing her skirt and then reflexively looking down to make sure no one was taking in a show. “So,” she said ruefully, “not a normal boyfriend, then?”
    “Thought that’s what you love about me.”
    Carly tapped his nose with a finger. “We are not to the L word yet. Maybe a bit closer when you’re covering your half of the rent.” Then she kissed him on the cheek. “Bye, bye, baby.”
    She headed out, and moments later her high heels were clacking down the stairs to the front door.
    The moment she was gone, there was an insistent knock at the balcony door. Sam turned and strode over to it quickly, knowing what he was going to see before he opened it.
    Sure enough, there was Wheelie, rolling back and forth impatiently next to Sam’s huge wet mastiff, Buster. Neither robot nor dog seemed particularly thrilled. Wheelie, however,