Tripping on Tears by Day Rusk Read Free Book Online Page A

unsullied,” she said. “Something tells me my twenties may be a different matter.”
    With that revelation, and what it might mean, I completely lost my train of thought.
     
    After dinner, we went for a walk in the city. Seeing as we both reside in the suburbs, it was something different to do. In my youth, my friends and I had often hit the city to cruise and look for girls to pick up; in my early twenties, the city offered up the action and excitement I’d craved, what with the clubs and what not, but now that I was quickly approaching my mid-thirties, the appeal had faded. Somewhere along the way, whatever wild man I might have been disappeared; now an exciting night for me was sitting at home and enjoying either a movie or a good book.
    We wandered and talked; I felt comfortable in her presence and I believe she felt the same with me, or at least I hoped she did. It felt right, but as the evening grew a little later, another stress slowly arose – the goodnight kiss. Things had gone really well, as far as I could tell, so what should I do? Do I go for it? Was she the kind of woman who would appreciate me holding off until the second date? Is she the kind of woman that would wonder what was wrong with me if I didn’t make an attempt to kiss her? Did I have chapped lips? Why is the sky blue? Who killed JFK? The internal questions and insecurities regarding this pivotal moment in dating were many, and, unfortunately, far from being resolved in my mind. I was never any good with this stuff. I had no idea what to do. Damn .
     
    “You know I can’t let you drop me off at home?” she said as we were driving out of the city.
    “Kinda figured that. So where to?” I asked.
    She directed me to the donut shop where her friend Kareena was waiting for her. It seems that Safia’s parents let her out tonight because they thought she was with Kareena and that they’d be meeting up with more female friends. It seems that Kareena’s parents had let her out tonight because she was with Safia and they thought they’d be meeting up with other female friends. It seems they both had dates with boys their parents wouldn’t approve of.
    “So, I had a great time tonight,” Safia said as we awkwardly sat in the parking lot, in my car, staring into the donut shop. Kareena was there waiting for Safia at a table. She hadn’t noticed us pulling up, although there was no reason why she’d have known my car.
    “Me too,” I said.
    This was it, wasn’t it? The end of our date. To kiss or not to kiss, that is the question. Damn, would someone please give me the answer ? I know what I wanted to do, but I’ve never been very good at this, and if I went in for a kiss and she didn’t want me to, I’d look the fool. It’s happened before.
    “So, you have my cell number,” she said. “I guess I’ll wait for your call, or not.”
    She seemed hesitant to leave; I think she wanted me to kiss her, but, I don’t know, fear was holding me back. Why does this have to be so hard?
    “I’m going to call. Definitely,” I blurted out. “I do want to see you again.”
    Her face lit up in a smile. She looked at her watch. “I’d better get going; believe it or not we still have a curfew. See ya.”
    With that Safia exited the car, and so did my last chance to gain the courage to go in for a kiss. What a fucking fool I was. All signs pointed to everything going well, the kiss should have been a given, if I hadn’t had my head up my ass and was such a damned coward. All I could do was watch as she crossed the parking lot and entered the donut shop.
    I started my car. Things had gone well, so that was a good thing. Better to have missed a kiss and had a great date than for the date to have been a bust all along. What do they say; you should count your blessings? That wasn’t good enough. I don’t know why I did it, but I turned off the car and got out.
    When Safia and Kareena exited the donut shop I was just standing there leaning against