Tuesday The Rabbi Saw Red by Harry Kemelman Read Free Book Online Page B

so I hope to have a mimeographed reading list to distribute to you.”
    “Will that be required reading?” asked a shocked Harvey Shacter.
    “Some of it will be required, and some will be collateral reading, we will start by reading the Five Books of Moses, the Torah, on which our religion is based. I’ll expect you to finish it in the next two or three weeks and then we’ll have an hour exam.”
    “But that’s an awful lot.” Shacter protested.
    Not really. I don’t expect you to study it intensively at first. Read it as you would a novel.” He held up a copy of the Old Testament that he had brought with him. “Let’s see, in this text it runs about two hundred and fifty pages. It’s good large type. I’d say it’s about the length of a short novel. I shouldn’t think that would be too much for college students.”
    “What text do we use?”
    “Is it on sale in the bookstore?”
    “Any special translation?”
    “Can we use the original?” This last from Mazonson.
    “By all means, if you can.” said the rabbi with a smile. “For the rest of you, any English text will do. If it’s not on sale in the bookstore, you should have no trouble getting a copy. I would appreciate it if you did not leave it until the last few days before the exam. If you begin your reading immediately you can have a better understanding of the material as I deal with it in my lectures –”
    “This is going to be a lecture course?” Henry Luftig seemed aghast.
    “What else did you have in mind?” asked the rabbi dryly-Well, I thought it was going to be a – you know, like a discussion course.”
    “But how can you discuss something you don’t know?”
    “Oh, well, like general principles. I mean everybody knows something about religion.”
    “Are you sure, Mr. – er – ?” the rabbi began gently. “Luftig. Hank Luftig.”
    “Are you sure. Mr. Luftig? I’ll grant that most people have some general ideas, but often they’re much too general. Religion can be regarded as an overall blueprint for our thinking and our basic attitude toward life. Now the Jewish religion differs widely from the prevailing Christian religion, but at some points the differences involve subtle fine distinctions.”
    “So that’s why we ought to have discussions. Rabbi.” Shacter offered.
    The rabbi considered and then shook his head. “You mean that by combining your ignorance, you’ll be able to achieve knowledge?”
    “Well…”
    “No, no. Let’s proceed in the traditional way. When you have some knowledge, then perhaps we can discuss its interpretation.” Procedural matters over, he launched into his introductory remarks. “Now one immediate difference between Judaism and many other religions is that we’re not bound by an official creed, with us; it’s largely an accident of birth. If you’re bom a Jew, you’re a Jew, at least until you officially convert to some other religion, an atheist who was born a Jew is therefore a Jew, and conversely; someone who was not bom a Jew but follows all our traditional practices and shares our traditional beliefs would still not be considered a Jew if he had not officially converted to Judaism.”
    He smiled. “And I might add for the benefit of any ardent exponent of Women’s Liberation who may be among us that by rabbinic law, only one bom of a Jewish mother – note, mother, not father – is a Jew.”
    “Who you kidding, Rabbi?”
    He was startled by the interruption from an attractive girl in the first row.
    “I don’t understand. Miss – er –”
    “Goldstein, and that’s Ms. Goldstein.”
    “I beg your pardon. Ms. Goldstein.” said the rabbi gravely. “I should have known.”
    “I mean isn’t that just a line Jewish male chauvinists hand women nowadays to hide their second class status?” She went on. “Women are brainwashed into thinking they’re more important because they’re the ones who decide whether the kid belongs to the Jewish race or nation or whatever it is.